Chink in the Chain
by Addiktingcake15
Summary: LxLight or LightxL it changes. late night hijinx turns into something much morethan the two young men thought it would. the rating is for some M content in the later chapters, and for some cussing in the later chapters. i do not own death note. Reviews!
1. The begining

He scanned the clock hastily, it was 4:24 in the morning… 'Damnit! L….' thought the chestnut haired youth, as he lay listening to the incessant tapping of computer keys.

"Ryuzaki….Computer….off" the sleepy teen mumbled, half dead.

The man being spoken to threw the teenager a nasty look with his large, black eyes.

"No, that would be very illogical, light-kun." Said the stone eyed man.

"Why….?"

Light shuddered at the way he whined, like a child. He looked over at the black eyed figure, and then slipping his gaze upward to a thick, messy and shining mass of darkness the insomniac called hair. After a few moments he noticed that Ryuzaki was staring straight at him, Light turned so quickly that the detective toppled onto him, because of the handcuffs connecting the two.

"Get the hell off me!" screeched light

"You pulled the chain….idiot." the usual emotionless tone the detective had was completely gone, replaced only by a harsh and somewhat playful one.

Light felt a familiar heat start in his cheeks, trying to suppress it, he sharply turned his head away from the other man who was now climbing off of him and resuming his spot at his laptop.

"Sorry." Barked the teenager.

Ryuzaki tilted his head, to express his curiosity in the sudden apology.

"whatever for, Light-kun?"

"For….."

"yes…?"

"staring at you…." Oh how he hated to admit that he had been admiring the man.

"well, then I am also sorry for staring at you…"

Light was truly confused by this statement, not once could he remember Ryuzaki, L, staring at him. A thought then crossed his mind…a rather disturbing one….. L watched him as he slept! Light's bright red cheeks melted into a cold, white grimace. He wriggled uneasily and pressed his eyes shut. Yet, he felt somewhat comforted that he was being watched as he fell into a soft and quiet sleep.

As if on queue, L's head snapped over to the dreamy, soft image of Light's sleeping figure. His eyes misted over with thoughts of the brat, but how he liked the way that brat looked when he slept… light wouldn't yell, hit, protest, or be disagreeable in general when he was slumbering. L lurched backwards when he felt a small tug at his ankle. He toppled off of the bed pulling the now wide awake light along with him. A loud thud and bang preceded sharp groans of pain. L instinctively yanked his hand up to his tender back that slammed, hard, into the corner of the vanity. Light looked up seeing the pain in L's eyes, he pulled himself up and looked at L curiously.

"why… why did you pull me off the bed, let alone hitting yourself on the way down..?"

"you…you were holding on to my ankle quite tightly, it startled me."

Light couldn't help but stare at L, light had never seen L's eyes convey any emotion, but they were very clearly portraying pain.

"is your back alright, Ryuzaki?" putting his hand out as if he were going to touch the injured spinal column.

L huffed and swatted away the hand held out to him, and crawled back onto the bed. Light was a bit shocked that he had just offered the detective his hand, but even more shocked that he was rejected. It was not a pleasant feeling at all, rejection, he felt a fire raise inside of his belly, he knew what it was, he was mad…'What the hell…?! Why do I care if I got rejected by that freak..?!' thought the teen frantically trying to come up with reasons as to why he cared so much. He finally settled for the excuse that he was just tired and wasn't thinking right.


	2. Confrontation

"Up." growled a harsh, irritated voice.

A sharp pain filled light's sides as he opened his eyes to see L's small frame looming above him, standing on the bed.

"get up." Came the gruff voice once more

"wha…why?" snapped the drowsy, irritated light.

"Just what are you dreaming about, Yagami-kun?"

"what do you mean..?" light yawned looking angrily at the clock that now said 5:02. To be honest, Light had no idea what he was dreaming about. And he couldn't figure out why L seemed so agitated. Light rolled onto his back, and tried to fall asleep, only to be angrily shaken. Light opened his eyes just in time to see L lunge, landing, sitting forcefully on Light's chest.

"Ryuzaki what the… what are you doing…?"

"tell me what you dream of.."

"i.. I don't remember.. why?"

"you keep on grabbing at me and…"

"and?"

"you kissed my neck not even a minute ago! It's quite disturbing to me!"

" I WHAT!?" screamed Light, flinging L off of his now, very pained chest.

"you heard what I said"

The room slipped into a quiet death trap. The glistening light from the laptop now disappeared from the room. The beds springs creaked quietly. Light began to panic as he felt a small brush against his hand. It felt nice, a bit cold, but nice. Instead of doing the logical thing, to push away the hand of the black eyed insomniac, he let it linger, absorbing every feeling as it worked its way fully into his hand. There they both lay, both tired and confused by what was happening.


	3. Hand to Hand

L felt his heart pound violently in his chest when his hand was squeezed in return. L leaned over the owner of the lovely hand. Stopping just short enough to feel the others breathe on his lips. The hands clasped together with massive pressure.

L flipped himself away from the teenage form he so eagerly hovered over. L was completely bewildered by what he had almost done. But before he could completely figure anything out, he felt a smooth touch on his stomach pull him back over. The moon shone dully through the only tiny window in the room. The light was just dim enough to illuminate the surprise on L's pale, almost ghost like face. Light looked deeply at L, wondering what he should do as L scanned Light's face in return. Before either of them knew what they were doing the moon's shine was gone.

L felt an immense amount of heat come close to his face, realizing it was Light's, now, heavily blushing face. L wanted to pull himself away from the present situation, but as he did the heated face protested.

"L, you were going to sooo…."

"but….."

Nothing more could be uttered from L's lips. L's lips were engaged with another activity. Light felt the heat from L's face increase considerably, Light pulled his lips away slowly, resentfully.

"Light…?"

Light let out a heavy sigh, knowing he was now either going to be hit, questioned, or a potent mix of both. Instead, he was snapped out of his wincing, by the words, "…can…you… maybe do that once more….?"

The question answered only by heated lips touching once more, but this time with passion flowing through them. The two of them felt a jolt of heat, warmth, peacefulness and contentedness rip through their bodies.

Unbeknownst to the two, their thoughts at the time were intertwined with one another, as tightly as their hands, 'why, is this so wonderful…?' they both pulled away with a twinge of sadness in their minds.

"Light-kun, you were calling me L just now, why?" popped the now utterly emotionless voice of L, masking his inner shock, surprisingly well.

"I..I have no idea…" retorted Light feeling heat rise once more into his face.

L turned quickly, giving the teenager a harsh, yet soft look.

"I liked that, Light."

"Wha…y-you didn't say 'kun' !!" stuttered the shaken Light.

Regaining his momentarily lost composure to continue, "I liked that as well, L."

Light felt his eyes drooping, as he lost the image of L unwillingly to only be replaced by another image of L, once again hovering over him. This time, it was alarmingly bright in the room, causing Light to flinch with pain in his eyes.

"Good morning, Light" the hunched, insomniac said gleefully, with the slightest of smiles gracing his pale lips.

"…nnnnn. Morning, L." smiled the teen, lazily rubbing at his eyes, enjoying the view of the oddly adorable half smile L was giving him.


	4. Breakfast

Light was now slowly walking around the wall, over to the cramped little kitchen, that could not have been more than a foot away that he and L shared in their apartment-like living space at the head quarters. Light looked blissfully over at L who to Light's immense surprise, was cooking, then Light sat, puzzled.

Light let out a small, almost comical gasp, which incurred a heavy and somewhat spiteful look from the cooking detective.

"S-sorry." Said the blushing Light, "I didn't mean anything by that, I just never see you eat real food, so…" his voice trailed off. Feeling insanely foolish he tucked his hands between his legs, like a small child does, swaying slightly back and forth.

L did something Light had NEVER seen him do after that, L grinned at him, not with his teeth but, leaving his mouth shut and his eyes shut. Light reveled in the new found attention from the strange insomniac.

Light hung his head and thought about how much he enjoyed L smiling at him, but was yanked away from his thoughts as L put a neatly made breakfast under his hung head. Light swiftly changed his stare from the table to L. L tipped his head and blinked rapidly at Light, as the teenager inched closer to his face. L smirked intensely as he fulfilled the intentions Light had. Light watched almost sadly as L crossed the table and began to joyfully eat some ice-cream he had put at his end of the table.

"Why does…." Light's voice trailed off, not wanting to end the pleasant feelings L gave him with a stupid question.

"It feel so euphoric when we kiss…?" drawled L adding a dreamy sigh to the end of the statement.

Light looked up at L. Their gazes met, but broke almost instantly when Light saw that L had a soft, lazy stare put upon him.

"Y-yeah…"

"Well," L began, "To be honest, you will be one of the first people I will tell this to,"

Light once again looked up at the ethereal looking detective, intrigued by his previous remark.

"I do not know."

Light was taken back by the answer while a piece of toast hung limply out of his mouth.

'L doesn't know…?' was the only thought rushing through the confused youth's mind. How could L not know…? He was the world's greatest detective, he had to know all the answers… didn't he…?


	5. The Damned Window

The two young men shared an awkward silence, only acknowledging the others presence between gulps of food. Light, wanted to know why this had happened, and _why _he _wanted _it to happen again. At the end of the meal, Light picked up his plate and awkwardly walked over and took the waiting L's plate, scooping it up and taking it to the small sink.

Light's eyes wandered about from place to place in the small living space the two had to share while being _forcefully_ handcuffed together. Eventually, his eyes were caught by a serene, breath-taking scene. L, still sitting at the table, in his odd way that made Light chuckle to himself, was thinking. Biting his thumb, softly, the contrasting colors of L himself were somewhat bold, the pure white shirt, put in line by hair that was blacker and more shimmering than the most beautiful night, was calm, being drenched in light. The gentle morning sunlight teased at L's body, casting just barely enough of a silhouette through his shirt, and softening his jaw just enough, a small, contented sigh was emitted through Light's now wide lips.

L slowly, looked to his right were the boy in the kitchen was admiring him. L never had entertained the idea of himself being anything to look at, but he could see the sheer fixation in the others eyes. L watched just long enough to see the younger man's mouth slam shut and compel his eye's downward towards the undone dishes.

Light wanted to stare at L, his eccentric behavior poured over into an eccentric beauty, which Light desired, strongly. Light didn't want this moment to end, it was to perfect.

"Light…" trailed the detective glowing in a pale orange, pink shine from the window.

"Y-yes.." Light clumsily cleared his throat, "Yes, what is it L?" he said still rather flushed from the fact he had begun to stutter so much when addressed by the hunched detective.

"It is getting late, we should be heading down to greet the other task force members." L stated simply, trying with every last ounce of strength he had to stifle his smile.

"Ah, yeah it is getting late, let me get dressed first." The auburn haired boy said. Looking down in disdain at his sleep shirt and pants which had now acquired some sort of breakfast stain.

Light felt a slight tug a the chain, his mind was dead for the moment, until, a second harder jerk pulled him into reality, his wrist starting to ache just a bit. Light seemed to glide effortlessly across the floor, but L, in front of him, trampled the floor in his usual shrugged state. L assumed his spot on the bed, signaling that Light should proceed to strip himself clean of clothes with stains of food.

The room the two men resided in was cramped. Only enough room for their bed, nightstands and the nasty vanity that knocked L's back the night previous. L looked with massive disdain at the evil object, unaware that Light was gettign ready to change, right in front of him.

Though L had seen most of Light's body prior to this day, it being their sixth day together, felt odd for looking at him. L thought about the 'most' because Light, being a self-conscious teenager, never let L see him in anything less than pants. L shocked himself by racking his brain to remember scraps of the youth's body, which was something that L, himself should NOT be thinking about. Not staring at anything in particular, L came to rest on Light, starting to unbutton his warm, cotton shirt.


	6. Leaving

L knew his heart was beating at an uncanny pace when Light took the shirt completely off letting it glide swiftly to the ground. He had never noticed how toned, yet soft Light looked, how his shoulders moved methodically when he pulled out a new shirt from the vanity that L had bruised his back on earlier. L felt a flush, a warm tinge rise to the top of his cheeks, as Light moved closer to him, still half clothed.

Light could feel L's heart beating like mad as he leaned toward him. That amused Light, he never thought L could fall to pieces when someone touched him, let alone the top Kira suspect. Light felt himself quiver ferociously as he nervously placed the most gentle, brushing kiss on the shaggy, black mass of hair.

"Thanks once again for breakfast, L."

A shock of heat surged through the detectives back when he heard Light say his name. Light's voice made his name sound celestial, the way it silkily slipped from his pale, pink lips. He wanted to hear it again, L _wanted _Light to say it.

Light was fidgeting with an unruly button near the bottom of his stomach, when L, slowly moved forward, grabbing the swatch of fabric from the other. He made quick work of the button, moving his hands with ease, skilled from many nights of endless typing.

"Shall we be off now, Light?"

"Yeah, let's go L."

Both shuddered in return as they heard their names being pushed from the others throat. Light violently gnashed his hand into L's. Shocked, they both firmly grasped the other's appendage. They walked out of the bedroom, then kitchen, and finally out into the hallway. As they got into the elevator, L gave a sudden cough, releasing his hand from Light's. The teenaged boy gave a startled grunt of disapproval, and started to sulk like a child, arms folded, making an unpleasant face, while trying to burn holes into the ground with angered eyes.

With every passing floor, a different barrier L had made arose once again, the ones Light broke the night previous. As they approached the ground floor, Light thought what was about the second floor, all emotion drained from the thin, pale figure, no more warmth, or tenderness, just cold, like stone. It pained Light so much to see the expression so vacant, and uncaring.

Though L's expression seemed clear, his head was entirely splotchy, riddled with possible explanations as to why he reacted this way to the younger Kira pursuer. The gong-like beep of the elevator alerted Light, and he straightened out, loosing his child like demeanor.

"Here we go, Yagami-kun."

"What happened to Light….." the chestnut haired boy muttered under his breath.

They both walked out of the elevator into a flurry of lights, electronic beeping, news reports and smiling faces, eager to see the pair of young men.


	7. Matsuda!

Both shuddered in return as they heard their names being pushed from the others throat. Light violently gnashed his hand into L's. Shocked, they both firmly grasped the other's appendage. They walked out of the bedroom, then kitchen, and finally out into the hallway. As they got into the elevator, L gave a sudden cough, releasing his hand from Light's. The teenaged boy gave a startled grunt of disapproval, and started to sulk like a child, arms folded, making an unpleasant face, while trying to burn holes into the ground with angered eyes.

With every passing floor, a different barrier L had made arose once again, the ones Light broke the night previous. As they approached the ground floor, Light thought what was about the second floor, all emotion drained from the thin, pale figure, no more warmth, or tenderness, just cold, like stone. It pained Light so much to see the expression so vacant, and uncaring.

Though L's expression seemed clear, his head was entirely splotchy, riddled with possible explanations as to why he reacted this way to the younger Kira pursuer. The gong-like beep of the elevator alerted Light, and he straightened out, loosing his child like demeanor.

"Here we go, Yagami-kun."

"What happened to Light….." the chestnut haired boy muttered under his breath.

They both walked out of the elevator into a flurry of lights, electronic beeping, news reports and smiling faces, eager to see the pair of young men.

Matsuda took it upon himself to thrust a large packet of papers at L, stating loudly, "I got the information you asked for, Ryuzaki!" bending his head down, being as submissive as one could possibly be.

"Thank you, Matsuda-san." L flatly stated, deflating Matsuda's sense of accomplishment.

"Ryuzaki!" Light let out a loud scoff, "It must have taken _hours_ for you to do this, thank you Matsuda." Light said sweetly, with a smile to layer the top of the sickness L felt in his stomach at Light's sudden attitude change.

Matsuda, being the clumsy dim-wit he was, stumbled happily, falling onto the unforgiving tiles in one swift motion. Aizawa walked solemnly over to the black haired idiot, staring pitifully at the lump on the floor, while titling his head to the side. Within twenty seconds, Mogi was at Aizawa's side, both in awe of the bleeding lip that quivered as they helped Matsuda up.

As the two members of the force helped up the disabled idiot on the floor Light's father, Soichiro, walked over, shaking his head the entire way. The man's stature seemed vast, so prideful and righteous. He emanated everything that a cop could possibly stand for. Soichiro smiled upon seeing his son saunter from the elevator. Light smiled back and waved to his father like they hadn't met in years.

L knew instantly what Light was doing, putting up barriers, just as he had done himself in the elevator. It was starting to irritate L by the time the investigation had barely gotten rolling. He knew just how to stroke the one thing Light couldn't stand, accusation.

"So…." L dragged out the 'O' in the so to make his statement try to seem casual, "Yagami-kun…please _do_ tell me how you have managed to kill criminals while chained to me..?"

The look on Light's face was enough to deter the detective from wanting anymore of the enraged teen's temperamental attention. But, L noticed that it wasn't just anger in Light's blazing eyes, but, passion, fear, lust, agony and any other contradicting emotional pairs there possibly were. For one of the first times in L's life, other than when he upset Watari when he was young, he felt remorse, remorse for being a complete child. L wanted to cry, to cry on Light's strong shoulders.

The thought of tearing up fled his mind when a hard fist connected directly with his, now, certainly bruised cheek.

"Sh-shut up!!" stammered the irate Light. "You know I am NOT kir-"

Light couldn't finish his sentence before a foot slammed into the bottom of his jaw. Flying backwards, he landed with a yelp on the coffee table, the task force members casually moving aside as if they were used to this rough-housing, Matsuda scrambling to stop the two from strangling one another with the chains connected to their wrists.

The rest of the day was truly uneventful and the endless windows on the computer kept moving even when Light closed his dark lidded eyes. Unwillingly, the pair of young men let it continue on this way for sometime, at least three weeks, they had lost count. But finally after a particularly ordinary and disdainful day of work, thoughts rapidly crossed vapid minds, livening them up.

All the other task force members had gone home for the night, leaving L and Light to sit for about two and a half hours of silence. Light all the while relaying the events of the previous night, and how amazing it felt to touch the spindly man's lips hotly to his own. Light placed a longing look upon L's shoulders, seeming to understand, without even needed to see the teenagers pained expression, L summoned Watari, alerting him of the two's departure to bed.

The same as when L had come down in the elevator, his barriers now torn down with each passing floor, until standing at their door, L began to softly pant, turning a slight pink, now so human and flush with emotion.


	8. Rising

The door slammed open, Light planting soft, yet firm kisses on L's lips, Light severely wanted to taste a sweet tongue on his own but would never push it. Once he yanked, regretfully, away from L's lips, L looked through passion filled orbs, staring holes through Light.

"Why did you stop, Light?"

"L…I..I just don't feel we should do anything yet.." Light felt a tear form and nearly fall as he said those painful words.

L reached a hand up to stop the solitary tear from gliding across hot cheeks. Lingering long enough to touch and explore the gentle curves of the others face. As L pulled his hands away from Light's now steaming red face, he did something he never thought he would..

He let a long, dying, groan of anger and sadness escape his trembling lips. Biting back at his lips as hard as he could when he realized the noise had gone beyond his thoughts and into reality. L twitched uncomfortably at the sound that the younger man made.

"Light…I will do this if you want me too." L remarked as he pushed a delicate kiss across the cheeks of his young companion.

Then to the brown haired mans astonishment, L's tongue was slowly licking up and down Light's lips, making him gasp in surprise, allowing L to get what he wanted. The two went about this oral dance until needing to pull apart for short staccato breaths, then eagerly continuing. Small moans of bliss began at the back of both throats. Until both toppled onto the floor in a heap of heated lips.

L began to slowly climb Light's chest with a curious hand, pleased when a slightly cold hand did the same to him. Light's back shivered violently as L thrust a cold, long fingered hand underneath the heated shirt. Light pushed back at the man sitting on top of him, only feel a strong push downwards, as L plummeted his hips down on Light's to keep him still.

Unintentionally, Light thrust his hips up into the unsuspecting L, forcing a lengthy moan from both. Light _loved_ the feeling, the pressure on his hips, he wanted more, so he claimed what he wanted, pushing up, and tilting his hips side to side repeatedly. The two forgot all about kissing and only concentrated on the feelings they had below.

L straddled the teenager and pushed down violently again and again, pushing Light into a panting, moaning and slightly sweaty state. Light ignored how good this felt, and shoved L off, and did exactly what L had done for him, pushing up and down, only, feeling a large amount of squirming underneath him. He looked down, seeing a vividly red L trying desperately to reach his zipper, Light suddenly felt exactly why pushing against him.

"L-Li-Light….P-Please…." The black eyes danced with vivid red fire. Light knew what L wanted from him. Light scooted back a few inches letting L grab desperately at his zipper, nearly breaking the thing in the process. With this, Light got up and sat on the near by couch, crossing his legs, trying to regain his breath.


	9. Cracking

L got up and quickly dragged Light over to the bathroom, Light instinctively stayed out of the now locked room. Light let his mind drift to what was going on just beyond the door. Light thought of many things that he then realized that all were so raunchy that he quickly turned an impossibly dark shade of red. Then Light noticed where his own hands had come to rest. It felt so good to him. He didn't stop until he felt relieved, almost simultaneously, L swung open the bathroom door in time to see Light removing his hand from his own pants.

Both of them grinned madly, knowing exactly what had brought it on. Light's head hit the wall, as L attacked his lips, devilishly. Light groaned a slight protest. L jerked away with irritation.

"Light, why would you kiss me like that when we first got up here if you didn't want to end up doing anything? It's intensely irritating, it makes me furious!!" L yelled at Light, with all the voice he had in him, not even five inches away from his face. Panting like a mad man, L looked down at the teen beneath him, it was a very strange sight. Light was in a defensive position, eyes pinched shut, head turned to the side, arms up in front protecting his face. Light lay there with his mouth slightly open giving off frightened whimpers.

L was now aware of just how angrily he had screamed at the now overtly passive teenage boy. He thrust his arms around the boy with all of his emotions draining him.

"Light…I…I'm so sorry!" L wailed as the frightened young man slung his own arms around the emotional heap that was formerly L. Light just deepened the hug, feeling a slight drop of fear.

"I-I-I didn't mean to do that to you…!" L spilled, "I just… I have never felt like this about ANYONE. To not know what is happening to me is a brand new sensation."

"I know, I know," cooed Light calmingly, "I don't know what's going on either, it's okay, if we just stay together, L, we _will_ make it."

L couldn't tell what it was about Light's voice, but he believed him, he believed Kira. L felt the sting of a tear rolling down his raw cheek. L knew, he knew, the painful truth that he would never be with the person who made him feel this way, warm and alive. It would be impossible for the great L to fall in love and be with Kira. He could not be with Light, the part of him that was pure, was soon to be overrun by, Kira, still dormant inside him.

Light felt the hot tear on the nape of his neck, he held L tighter knowing that what it took to make L cry had to be immense. Knowing L was crying with him, Light gave a choked sob, realizing exactly why L was crying. His own eyes welling to the point of overflowing. Now it was the detectives turn to comfort him. L wrapped his long spidery legs around Light and held his hands in a backwards embrace, slowly, L gently rocked Light back and forth. Without noticing, L began to quietly hum 'London bridge is falling down' Light quietly purred at the song being sung to him.

Light quietly looked into L's eyes now full of every emotion that could possibly be felt, and Light began to hum 'Hotaru Koi' a Japanese lullaby his own mother taught him.

L leaned close, breathing into Light's ears "Watari taught me that rhyme… I don't know if you've heard it or not, but I hum it when I can't sleep."

Light thought hard still humming the song about dragonflies, he could vaguely remember soft humming when L would wake him up. Their voices blended perfectly, softly dying away as they fell asleep in a tight warm embrace.


	10. Nineteen at last!

The two clung to one another for dear life. Upon waking up, Light bumped L, hard, on the chin. L gave out a sharp groan whipping his head back and writhing slightly. Light wondered why it had hurt him so much. Until, he leaned over to give L a good morning kiss, he tasted it, L's fragile mouth was steeped in blood. Light held L, pulling him closer until the two would be impossible to separate, at least not by hands.

The door of their small living quarters silently slipped open as the entire task force, including Watari, snuck in with a birthday cake for Light. Preparing to pounce on the now nineteen year old. The look on both parties faces was something to see. Most on the task force looked completely still, aside from Watari, who wouldn't be phased by anything. But the looks on Matsuda's, Aizawa's, and Mogi's faces were all the same, jaws on the floor in wonder at the two young men's close proximity. L and Light's faces molded into one, a look of fear, happiness, and absolute unawareness.

The fear, in Light's face, however was wrought by completely different reasons than the fear on L's face. Light's fear sprung from the murderous look Soichiro Yagami, Light's father, wore. Soichiro was more than one-hundred percent ready to snap L's neck if Light gave even the smallest bit of an 'okay'.

The two boys sat on the bed, slowly removing their glazed stare from one another to the stunned force. The elder Yagami, hair slightly graying, but in an authoritative manner, took one too many steps nearer to the two on the bed, causing Light to panic. Instead of hiding from his father like he wanted to, he slid himself out in front of L, as a blockade, as to say 'you'll go through me first if you want him.'

"Dad, stop. Please." said Light not once weakening his intense gaze at the enraged father.

"Did he…? He must have…" stammered the father.

"No. We both chose this, Dad. He never did anything I didn't want him to."

"So my son is…..?"

"Haven't figured that out yet…still both." Light huffed still standing protectively over _his _detective. '_My_ detective….?' trailed Light's mind.

Needless to say, it was Light's most interesting birthday by far. But the best part was his wonderful gift from L. The only gift that really mattered to him at the moment.

It was now very late, around 1:00 in the morning, and L and Light were too tired to show anymore public displays of affection to try and prove their relationship's validity. Light sat slumped remembering the constant cheering of the drunken force, when ever they begged them to kiss again, thinking it was some oddity. Familiar long fingers, hooked around his waist, Light looked up to see his…._his_ detective buried deep in his neck and hair, he loved the feeling.

They must have been made for one another, at least that's what Light thought, on his nineteenth birthday, as he snuggled closer to L tugging at endless black waves of hair. No matter what happened, they both knew neither one of them would forget this moment, _no matter what_.


	11. Finally

Both L and Light had felt happier than ever before in their lives. Never wanting to move, but eventually stirring, for some cake and punch. This time it was L who was the first to act. The quick movement shocked Light, but not before quickly reacting, and relaxing into L's arms.

It was now, somewhere around 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. Though, neither of the men knew let alone cared.

These were not the fast working hands Light knew, no, they were slow, tired almost, they lazily pulled Light closer and closer. Soon a flurry of heated passionate madness ensued. Kissing, nipping, touching, and soon thrusting and moaning came.

L's hands moved more quickly, gliding down past Light's stomach, causing a moan and tightening of muscles.

The pale, thin hands slipped mistily across the hem of Light's pants, a sigh of pure euphoria hissed from the hot lips. Then slipping down the zipper slowly, too slowly, causing Light to shove his own hand over L's in an attempt to hurry him up, L's soft hands delicately playing with the elastic band on Light's boxers. Light just wanted L to touch him, he had waited so long, even before they had first kissed that one night, he had wanted him, and now he _wanted_ him. _Badly_.

Light could hold on through only a little bit more of this _torture_, he _needed_ it. Light kissed L wildly, pulling his hands downward into a heated blur of bliss and ecstasy as he stroked the one thing Light wanted L to touch. The movements underneath the boxers grew faster and faster as did Light's hitching breath. Soon, Light was returning the favor for L getting the same reaction that he had given. L shoved Light away from the kitchen, seeming to be angry, but really just being playful.

The both of them writhed tremendously under the sheets as their own bodies touched, rocking back and forth, side to side, with each move both trying to keep there bodies from releasing all the tension that was built up at once.

Then slowly, Light eased into a panting L, painful noises shot from his mouth, but soon moans were filling the air as they both connected.

Finally at 4:13 in the morning the two collapsed onto the bed, just like one would, given the passionate, vigorous activities they endured. Interlocked with any limbs they could tangle they both fell into heavenly sleep, not caring about anything around them.

L tugged away without warning, sitting up and looking straight into Light's pale eyes.

"Light, I want to give you my present now."

Light looked puzzled, 'was that not the present…?' he wondered.

"We have identified, and are moving in on the third Kira. You are no longer a suspect." Oh, how L wanted to believe his own words, 'you are no longer a suspect.' But he couldn't.

"L, I've been with you the whole time, I've known this for a while…"

"My name." L smiled an extremely mournful smile, no hint of happiness.

"E-L…." Light could do nothing but look at his sad lover.

"May I tell you it?"

"L…"

"Yes, Light?"

"Only if you really trust, and love me." _Love? _It was true, it was no use he was in love with L.

"I love you, L" Light said whispering down into the hair by _his_ detective's ear.

L could not speak, he had no idea what to say, which stung Light bitterly as he backed away.

"Light, I-," L stuttered, "I love you too, Kira and all."

"If you think I am Kira, why would you tell me your name?"

"You have made me truly happy, Light Yagami, no matter what I do, I could never sentence you to death, I would much rather die at your lovely hands, Light."

And with that the conversation was done, saved for another day.


	12. Ms Misa is a Distraction

A small golden haired lady ran full force, directly for Light. Her enormous shoes hit the floor with an audible thump as she ran towards the frightened looking Light. The girl was strange, Light had no desire to engage himself in an annoying, immature conversation with her, and especially not when she wore the lacey black, 'Lolita' lingerie-like dress that she seemed to love with a passion. But he wanted speak with her even less because of the discussion he had the night prior, the talk with the man he loved so much.

'_the man I love….' _Light's mind sat in pure harmony as he carelessly reminisced about the best birthday he had even had.

Light was unwillingly pulled from the paradise that grew in his drifty mind as Misa approached him. Jumping, she flew through the air until she reached her target. Landing firmly on Light's lap. Light gave out a small pained cry, and L winced at, what he thought was repulsive, the sight of Misa moving just slightly on Light's lap, a bit up and down, a bit of side to side.

'_As if she's suggestive….'_ L's mind cut harshly.

L looked directly at Light when the name 'Ryuzaki' was addressed by the silky, wonderful voice L loved. His eyes were met not by caring eyes, but a severe stare issued by a less than threatening female. Misa was shooting any spark of anger that she could possibly find within herself at the hunched wide eyed detective. L looking up at Light instantly saw a pleading, longing look. As if Light were trying to say, '_Please don't hate me!'_

Her lips parted from their pursed state, "Light wants to go with me to the movies! Let him go you stupid pervert!"

L politely chided the young woman. "Misa-san, you know I cannot allow that. I chained us together for the sole purpose of finding more information about Kira, so I can clear him as a suspect in the case, if I didn't chain myself to him then I would never be able to leave him alone, not ever, not until I caught Kira, or one of died," L's voice suddenly took on a very playful tone to as he slowly looked up towards Light, "You want to be able to spend _all _of your time with him, don't you?"

Light's pleading look faded into one of irritation as his eyes narrowed on the detective. L had to expend all of his energy into not smiling and laughing vigorously at the situation the teen now faced.

"Well then you better come with us. I want to go see a movie!" shouted Misa.

"NO!" snapped Light, surprised by how angry and flustered he sounded.

Misa's mouth hung limply as she wondered why her 'boyfriend' had gotten so irate when she suggested L go with them.

"Why are you so mad, Light? All I want is to go to the movies with you, I don't mind if the pervert comes too."

Before she had an answer, she connected squarely with the floor, rubbing her sore, barely covered legs. When she looked up to get an answer from her Light, she noticed a blush come across Light's face and a smile shyly wriggle onto the detective's pale face.

She was thoroughly confused by this, but as her mind was coming to the conclusion that the pervert liked Light, Misa felt a sharp mental slap on her face, along with an even sharper slap to her ego.

Light had wrapped his arms around L, enveloping him with warmth. Misa's eyes grew ever wide as Light leaned in and kissed L, lightly on the lips. This was Light's silent protest to the always irritating, and dull Misa. Everyone in the vast, cold and technology ridden room felt sorry for the poor girl, even L himself felt a pang of sadness when he looked over at her. Misa shot up, she walked towards Light, tears forming. Light drew himself back, only to be pounded by tiny fists that pelted his chest.

Misa's eyes were streaming now, her face was steamy and red, Light felt insufferably horrid for hurting Misa so much. Light grabbed her small hands which, by now, had almost started to sting his chest. He held them gently and pulled her close. All Light did was hug Misa, he held her for sometime before quietly speaking to her.

"Misa, I know just how much you care for me….I really do…" he felt like crying, Misa's sadness was so intense and painful to him, "I'm sorry, but this is how it is, I don't love you, Misa, I love L…" he winced feeling her hands clench more, and hearing her breath stop and begin again will a violent sob.

She looked up at Light, then at L standing there, she felt L's sadness at her broken heart, returning to Light, she choked on her tears even harder.

"Y-you love him…?"

"Yes I do."

"Light…"

"Misa."

"This…is goodbye..?"

"Yes, it is Misa."

She snuggled herself tightly against Light's slowly moving chest. "Then….can I have….one last kiss goodbye. Even if it doesn't mean anything…?" she choked between her sobbing.

Light looked over at L who gave a silent nod, Light pulled Misa's chin up so she could clearly see him, he slowly and quietly nodded. She pulled at his shirt harder. And Light gently wrapped his arms around the frantic woman.

Light placed his lips softly on Misa's, only feeling guiltier for hurting her so much. He felt the heat from her face overtake him, as she pushed more tears from her eyes, which he also felt. The two separated themselves gradually, looking at one another. Light tenderly wiped the tears away from Misa's boiling cheeks. Light felt nothing for Misa, but even if he didn't she was still a person, one who's world came hurtling down upon her tender head.

She divided herself, painfully from Light, and solemnly walked out of the building, not uttering one word, as all eyes fell on the impossibly depressed woman. It went without saying, that not one person left in the cold room should said anything. Light began to softly cry, as L held him in his arms, cooing sensitively, while sympathetically stroking the chestnut hair presented to him.


	13. Agony

That night the pair's window remained open, shedding a cold breeze over the two scantily clad men sleeping in bed together.

"Mmmmmnn…L, would you please shut the….window..?" Light muttered into L's listening ear, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

"Light…fine, only because I love you.." L giggled as Light smiled.

The midnight haired man moved swiftly, but teetered as he put his hand on the window forcing it shut. L walked back over to the bed, silently. Upon arriving at the foot of the small double size bed, L flew through the air landing on the surprised Light as the bed creaked mercilessly.

"H-Hey! Take it easy there babe!" Light snickered as L began to suck hotly on Light's neck.

"Babe?" inquired L lifting his head up from the now kiss marked neck.

"Does that bother you…?"

"Hmmmm. Say it again and then maybe I can tell." L grinned down at Light who eagerly returned it with a smile.

"How's this then, Babe, I love you so much right now."

"I _love_ it." L sighed slumping into the nineteen year olds outstretched arms.

Considering that they had now slept together twice, switching dominance because they came to the conclusion it was 'fair', the young lovers remained unbelievably calm. Light let out a long, sorrowful groan as he titled his head away from L's, recalling the day's earlier events.

"Do you care for Misa, Light?"

"What are you talking about? I just slept with you didn't I? If you mean I value her life then yes I do, only because she has good intentions most of the time, and she's a kind person. I admit, breaking up with her was hard, only because of how sad she was."

"That's what I thought it would be, Light."

"You need to have more faith in me, okay L?"

"It's hard to, I've never been forced to care for anyone but myself."

"I know, that's why your learning."

"….Misa….."drawled L, ever lost in thought.

"Why did you let me kiss her? You yelled at me earlier about it."

L sat up, straddling the irritated Light. L recalled the fight, it was pointless. Only a bit after Misa had left, L had been dragged up the elevator and across a hall into the small apartment like space by a tearful Light. The tortured young man flung himself carelessly onto the couch, arms barricading his face from his lover. L now was recalling the conversation.

'_Light? Are you alright..?'_

'_Just what the fuck do you think, L!?'_

'…_.I was only concerned..'_

'_Like hell you were! You STILL want to know whether or not I liked her!'_

'_Don't be so spoiled! You stupid BRAT!'_

L cringed at remembering the defensive tone he had taken up with his teen.

'_L, you are the worst!! Don't touch me!'_

'_Then stop being so horrid!'_

Then L recalled how he sat on top of Light, trying to hold his face still so he could smack him on the cheek.

'_I….hate you.'_

L didn't care that Light was being stupid, he cared that Light hated him though. Snapping back into reality, he noticed Light looking more worried than usual, L also noticed the hot, clear pain that rolled so smoothly down his bony cheeks. Light bucked his entire lower body, causing L to fall onto to him in a mess of tears.

"L..what's wrong?" moaned softly into L's ear.

"You said you hated me."

"I know. But I… I didn't mean it, L you know I'm in love with you."

"It still hurts Light."

"I know, it always will. But you know for a fact that I do love you, that's all I can do."

"Let's get some sleep." L whined, "we have a big day ahead of us, seeing as how now we're going to be catching Kira tomorrow. I love you, night." L slumped off of Light;s frame and onto his no very cold side of the bed.

Light rolled onto his side and hugged L, brushing aside some ebony locks to kiss the back of L's neck and whisper, "I love you till I die."

Not soon after what had transpired, the two entwined lovers headed out to catch Kira, well, the third Kira, Higuchi.


	14. A Note From ME

computer is a loser... so just to say whats coming up in the next few chapters... HIGUCHI FLASHBACKSFLIRTING AND DRAMA!! i apluad all of you who got this far...thanks fo getting this far, and reviews are most welcome!


	15. Blood

The morning sun crippled Light as he lazily looked for his lover who was absent from his spot on the bed. Light sat up hastily, trying to find his black haired candy fiend.

"L!? L where are you?!" Light by this time was quite shaken, shaken to the point of yelling, ignoring the fact that anyone in a ten mile radius could hear him.

A soft hand caressed his sweating back. Light swung around so fast he almost knocked L's teeth out with his wildly swinging fists. Light was now frantically gabbing handfuls of anything that was on the detective. L, completely confused, snuggly held Light to his chest. Light's frightened panting caused L to hold tighter, wondering what had brought this on. When L looked down, he was met by a heart wrenching sight, Light was sobbing now, and at the corner of his mouth was blood, bubbling with the huge breaths Light was taking in.

"Light! What's wrong!?" L was unaware of how hard he was shaking the teen, "What happened!? Please!!"

"L! L… I!!" Light could hardly breathe.

L realized that Light couldn't breathe and let go, but pulling his hand up to wipe away the blood from Light's, now, colorless face. Light pushed away the hand and smashed his lips against L's. L lurched back in surprise, tasting Light's warm blood. L thought back on other times, trying to scan for any other times he had seen Light bleed.

'_Light? What happened to your hand?'_

'_Oh, its nothing…'_

'_Well? What happened?'_

'_Stop being so persistent!'_

_L reached out and grabbed the injured hand, wiping away the blood to reveal a small, jagged cut on Light's shaking hand._

This was odd for L to remember, being that this was far from when they had confessed their feelings for one another.

'_What did you do Yagami-kun?' L questioned breathlessly, eyes wide in shock at the extent of the wound._

'_Told you, its nothing!' Light banged his knuckles against the wall behind him, from the sheer force he had used to pull away from L._

_Light winced and shut his eyes, inhaling and exhaling with clenched teeth._

' _some loser,' he prated, 'ran by me and..'_

'_And?' _

'_pushed me onto the ground. It's a scuff that's all.'_

'_well as long as you are Kira, you can easily put him to rest, yes Yagami-kun, a fine punishment don't you agree?'_

_For the first time, Light's bloody fist landed harshly on L's pale jaw._

'_As long as I suspect you,' another fist disconnected his sentence from his mouth, lodging it somewhere far away, '…..you will be Kira.'_

_L quickened his movements as to avoid the next merciless blow, grabbing Light's arm and twisting it at an ungodly angle, making the temperamental Light quiver with agony and rage._

L finally snapped out of his daydreaming when Watari's voice disconnected him.

"Ryuzaki."

"What is it Watari?"

"Wedy has called, it seems Higuchi has left for Sakura TV."

"Meet Light and I at the helipad, promptly, thank you."

"Understood."


	16. Truthfully?

Light knew that the situation that now faced the entire team, was what they had been waiting for, Kira would be caught. Light, however, knew just as well as L, that Higuchi, was not Kira, or at least not the original Kira. Higuchi was much to stupid in the way he could be tracked down so easily.

The blades of the helicopter ground noisily into the silently night air, shattering all thought that Light was capable of. He turned to his odd little lover, who made Light feel truly insecure, because of his own knowledge of what the detective could do. Light also felt insecure about how L was poised and ready, holding out a gun for Light.

"You're joking, right?"

"Why would I be joking, Light? This is for your safety after all."

"No."

_Light wanted nothing more than to strangle this strange man, L, with the chains connecting the two. The monitors in front Light's face burned holes through his head. Light desperately wanted to know why he wasn't able to leave this damned building. It was as bad as being imprisoned without human contact, because L, was far enough from being human._

_Yet, why was Light thinking about the detective so damn much? He sat back with a loud grunt, rubbing his temple, while being observed like usual by L._

'_Damnit! Ryuzaki, do you really think that I can kill someone by rubbing my forehead?!'_

'_No, you just have been staring at me quite a bit lately, Yagami-kun. I'm starting to wonder why…'_

_Light felt rushes of anger he had never felt before, and yet he felt his cheeks catch on fire._

'_Fuck you!! I have not been!! You just fucking want me to!' Light howled at L before turning away in his chair._

'_Maybe I 'fucking' do want you to.' L slid into a smirk at his obvious victory of the verbal battle._

_Lights cheeks were on fire at this moment in time, he reeled around looking at L with shock all over his teenaged face. 'Di- did he just f-f-flirt with me…..!?' raced Light's confuse, thought ridden head. Light was confused by the initial sentence, but even more confused when he replayed the way it was said in his head. L had a playful and almost energetic tone when he repeated the word 'fucking'. Wait… L doesn't curse! Oh, he was so utterly perplexed. L reading the confusion on Light's face almost felt sorry for his statement, but then thought about it and felt good about cursing to puzzle Light._

The chopper blades now tore through an outbreak of voices on headphones and sirens. The massive spot light on the helicopter now rested on a long stretch of road, now blockaded by flashing black and white dots that grew clearer and clearer with every foot the massive machine descended.

"Watari, are you ready?" chimed Ryuzaki, planting the helicopter easily on the ground, blades still running for a stress-free escape, if it was needed.

"Yes."

"Good, it seems that this is finally over, does it not, Yagami-kun?"

Light looked a bit taken back at the use of his last name, as opposed to his, now, more commonly used first name.

"Uh, yeah, it really does, Ryuzaki."


	17. Conscious

The brilliant light from the helicopter shone down on the gleaming blood colored sports car with malice. L staring only at the suspected Kira, Higuchi. By this point in time, Higuchi was exceedingly frantic, holding a gun to his own head.

"Watari?"

"Yes L."

With the small exchange of words, a steadily aimed Watari shot one glimmering bullet directly at the gun, knocking it entirely from Higuchi's trembling hand. L now realized that Higuchi's lip was bleeding from the force that his car hit the wall with, L was knocked back by the memory of the panicked Light from the morning. A black mat of hair swung abruptly towards Light, causing the adrenaline pumped teenager to twitch and jump slightly.

"Light, please do tell me, why were you so scared this morning?" L murmured while taking out a thermos full of warm coffee.

"L, why are you thinking about that now?"

"I was just wondering, it truly unnerved me, it still has me a bit unsettled." L announced breathily.

"I really don't want to say, L"

"You can tell me anything, you know that."

"I do know that! I…I just…" Light tipped his head and sighed, "I just don't want it to be real…." with each word, Light's voice grew louder and more urgent, "It won't happen! IT WON'T!! I WON'T LET IT!! PLEASE!!"

Light's eyes were now attempting to not betray their owner. It was useless, however, the salty agony had already taken Light's cheeks hostage. L desperately held the tear stained face in his hands, wanting to know what was wrong.

"Please, Light, tell me, no matter what, I will not be upset."

No matter what…..

"No matter what?" Light repeated the phrase.

"Yes, no matter what."

Light wanted to die, he wished Watari would have a slip up and shoot him right through the heart. By now, Light wasn't even sure if he still had one, a warm, compassionate heart. Light began to reprocess what had pushed him into the insane flustered state, the state that forced him to bite through a piece of his own lip, early that morning.

"A dream.."

"A dream? Was that all, Light?"

"Yes, but you didn't see it."

"I don't need to, I will not downplay its importance, just because it was a dream," L's gaze deepened considerably, "Dreams, Light, are the portal into our subconscious thoughts, who we really are, what we desire."

Light was sure that Higuchi had written his name down, the pain he felt rip through his chest was larger than any other pain he had ever felt, or ever would feel.

"NO!!" wailed Light.


	18. Dreams

'L? Oh L….' crooned a distorted figure, climbing the walls with ease, 'were are you, silly L.' 

An icy laugh split Light's spine in two. No….! No….!! Light was trying to scream, but his voice was gone, he reached down to touch his throat, screaming like never before. Looking down at his hand, covered in thick, blackish blood, Light sobbed silently, and began to pace around, following the voice that called to L. 

Light had no idea of were he was, it seemed to be a church, cold stone walls, an eerie bell tolling relentlessly into the ever lucid nothingness that surrounded the church. He finally came upon a small, incandescent room. L sat slumped, Light could only see the back of him, Light lurched forward running towards L. L held out an arm, Light endlessly screaming L's name, grabbed onto it, only for L to pull away, looking scathingly at the heap of blood that Light had become. 

Faint whispers called out, from where, Light hadn't the slightest idea.

'Watashi no namae desu. Watashi no himitsu desu.' 

L hissed while looking at Light, breathing words that Light couldn't hear, but words that Light could feel. 

'Watashi wa o aishi kimi kesshite shimasen .' 

What…? No! Light tried to scream.

'Kimi wa koroshita watashi desu.'

Never!! He would never. Light began to shake violently with sobs, just as the shadow crawler sliced into the room. his eyes glowing red, and laughing maniacally, as he slowly pulled small bits of L away, leaving only a heart. Light lunged for the heart, but it grew clear, and ceased its beating. 

'Anata wa kesshite ai sarete ne.'

Please! I do! I do! Light begged listening to the silent voice.

'Anata ga uso o tsuite.'

Light couldn't scream anymore, even though his voice was muted, he was still screaming in his head. The giant shadow crawler, crept up behind him, and embraced Light as tightly as possible, until Light was within the shadow itself. 

'Kore wa anata no shin no jiko de aru.'

This is who I am. Thought Light, looking down at the bloodied spot where L had sat, I am Kira. I did kill you, L and I enjoyed every minute of it! The icy laugh and Lights melded into one, creating a hollow, cavern of a sound. The stained glass shimmered in hues of violent blues, greens, oranges, reds and yellows. All Light could hear now, was his feet stepping gingerly on the cold stone floors of the corridor, and then the overwhelming sound of crying. Light thought it was more like shrieking, it was L's voice, entangled with Light's voice, as Light peaked his head into the empty worship room, all was covered in tears, murky with blood as thick as tar. Light was happy, he grinned insanely, laughing the hollow, icy laugh, tilting his head upward. 

'Kujutsu suru hitsuyou watashi da wa arimasen, anata o kanri wa watashi da nai,' the contorted voice continued, 'tame boku wa, Yagami Raito mono wa, sekai no kami!' 

The horrid cackling kept spewing the nasty banter.

'Hai, Eru, watashi wa uso o tsuite.'

Light's ears now were drenched in the sound of L's voice screaming.

'Donna koto ga okoru te. Anata wa yoru to donna koto ga okoru te!!' 

'Watashi wa sonna wa itte!' Light yelled.

'Uso tsuki! Uso tsuki! Uso tsuki!!'

'Machigatte! Watashi wa shinjitsu desu!' Light bellowed.

'Kore wa yume desu. Yappari. Omou ni, Raito, kangaeru!!'

With the last words uttered, Light sat up in bed, panting, breathing hard, wanting L to hold him, to tell him it was a dream. A dream, and nothing more. When Light's hands reached over to find L, he was gone. 

And so, Light finds himself lingering on the horrid dream, while looking at L trough blurred eyes. He wanted to tell L, but Light couldn't, his voice was gone, his head was fuzzy.

"Light? Light are you alright?" inquired a very concerned L.

"Raito! Oi, Raito! Daijobu desu ka?!" L's smooth voice was fading into the tone in the dream, an unkind, shrill voice.


	19. Translations for You!

NOTE:

Translations.

Watashi no namae desu. Watashi no himitsu desu. My name. My secret.

Watashi wa o aishi kimi kesshite shimasen. I have never loved you.

Kimi wa koroshita watashi desuYou killed me.

Anata wa kesshite ai sarete ne You never loved me.

Anata ga uso o tsuite You are lying

Kore wa anata no shin no jiko de aru This is your true identity.

Kujutsu suru hitsuyou watashi da wa arimasen, Anata o kanri wa watashi da nai. tame boku wa, Yagami Raito mono wa, sekai no kami!I do not need dictation, you do not manage me. For I, Yagami Light, am the god of this world!

Hai, Eru, watashi wa uso o tsuite Yes, L, I was lying

Donna koto ga okoru te. Anata wa yoru to donna koto ga okoru te!! Whatever happens. You said no matter what happens!!

Watashi wa sonna wa itte! I didn't say that!

Uso tsukiLiar

Machigatte! Watashi wa shinjitsu desu! Incorrect! I am truthful!

Kore wa yume desu. Yappari. Omou ni, Raito, kangaeru!! This is a dream. I knew it. Think, Light, think!

Daijobu desu ka? Are you alright?

If you didn't figure this out…

Raito Light


	20. Now About That Next Chapter

O my goodness! sorry for the delay! i was having a bit of parental control from my dad, neddless to say the ranting continued on into the wee hours of the night, leaving me sleeping in class needing to do homework at home. so any way! next ch is kinda short but enjoy anways!!


	21. Nigh, Is Thou's Killing Arm

Light's head felt numb, he felt like he was falling, drifting into a cumbersome sleep, flowing gently onto L's feather-like hair. Light softly groaned as L's heavenly face drifted away from Light's body. Everything went dark, silent, still, Light had no thought. It wasn't Light who thought of it, nor L, but the feeling of death provaded the air in lucid heaps.

L, trying desperately to wake Light from his unintentional slumber, smacked Light's pale cheeks numerous times, finally rousing a small mutter from panicked lips. Peaceful eyes

greeted Light's fearful face.

"You can tell me."

"L, I…I was Kira,"

"You murdered me."

"Yes, and I was enjoying hearing your screams, they gave me pleasure."

"Then all I can do is make what time I do have here with you, even more loving, Light my name is…"

As the sacred name, so few knew, was passing the jaw of the detective, a black notebook was pushed close to L's arms, Soichiro holding it, trembling. L took a hold of the odd object being waved in his face, and knew, this was the link, the missing piece of a death sentence. L's head whipped around staring at, what L had gathered, was a severely confused Shinigami, bathing in the unearthly glow from the search lights placed upon the car. Light viciously ripped the notebook from L's now shaky hands. A mass of screams so loud that they seemed to be silent, began dripping from Light's impossibly contorted face.

Every detail of the Death Note, and its governing rules, capturing Light's logical thinking, had Light been calm, he would have ceased the incessant, shallow shrieks that tore away from his throat.

It would be different now, L knew this from the first shrill yelp that had escaped Light's mouth that night, and oh, how different it was. Light held no more warmth, L no longer desired to bathe in Light's celestial voice, nor swim in his now flat, hard gaze. Light wanted to know, he wanted L's real name, now for a far different reason than saving himself. Light grew to accept his love for L, even as Kira, but he wanted to kill L because of what he saw in L's eyes. L's eyes were solemn, he was missing what Light had been, Light could no longer sustain the fake heat he tried to create for L.

"L Lawliet."

Light's jaw hung slack, his eyes widening. Was this for real? It must have been a joke, but considering how mournfully the man lay beside him, Light knew it was true.

"Why?"

"You know the reason why, I can see it in your eyes."

"How do you want to die…?" Light's voice was reduced to a chocking whisper.

"In your arms."

The bed shifted, and creaked as Light returned, sitting near L's small, fragile frame, L was just waiting to be crushed by Kira. Choking on his self-inflicted heart break, Light let tears fall quietly, filling the soundless room with a dim, pattering echo as they crashed onto the murderous note book. So Light wrote, he showed L the details of his encroaching demise, it was ordinary enough in itself, a heart attack, but no mention of dying in someone's arms.


	22. Void In The Flaw

The wordless room now became filled with the eerie sound of Light's sobbing. The choking words he tried to mumble only forced him into a retching frenzy, though not throwing up, Light could feel his stomach tighten and loosen in time with his strangled throat.

L glanced mournfully down at the sad sight. Not once had L ever seen Light so unstable, Light's entire body was shaking, despair coursing through him with every tear that fell. L quietly closed the book, but not before noticing the date written at the top of the page after his name, which now was barely legible due to the salty tears that lay strewn across the pages.

_'...dies of a heart-attack on November fifth of two-thousand and eight.'_

"Light?"

"...W-what is it...L?" Light could barely look at L without wanting to vomit.

"I'll...," L's voice trailed off faintly, "I'll die in six days?"

"...L" was the only response the question would rake from Light's hoarse throat.

"I see. Light, you are Kira."

Light cringed knowing that he had now sentenced someone to death, that he truly loved.

"Yes." Light choked.

L moved slowly, curling up around the younger man, just as he had done before. Light turned around remorsefully, holding on to gobs of white cotton, shoving his face as forcefully as he could into L's warm neck.

"Light, I said that I love you, Kira and all," L wrapped himself tighter around Light, "I still mean that,"

"B-But I..!"

"I love you Light Yagami. No matter what," L softly stroked Light's silky hair, "I want to be in your arms for eternity."

"L! I love you too! With every last piece of my heart, I wish this could be different!! No!! I don't want you to leave!"

"I have to, not now, but in six days I will."

Light could no longer control his breathing, only gasping for breaths between heart wrenching cries of pain. L leaned Light's head back, away from his neck. Looking directly into Light's eyes, L tipped his head towards Light, kissing him softly. Light longed for this horribly wonderful night to end, at this moment in time Light wanted it to all be done, over, he wanted to be dead.

L was now being squeezed back by his own murderer. The room was being drenched in a perplexing glow from the ever immortal moon. The bathed room was intolerable, silent yet screaming, emotionless yet loving, the filthy, nauseating spell was broken only when a soft hum began to resonate throughout the prejudiced walls.

The gentle tone relaxed the men, allowing sobs to decrease, and eventually cease completely. Light looked up at L, tears shone dazzlingly upon the languid cheeks, L's face contorted into a pale smile at Light's returning gaze. Light never had felt so much anguish in his life, and Light knew he would never feel this way again. Before Light had realized what his own throat was producing, he was humming a low, solemn melody, feeling his own weak body along with L's fall into an into a twisted, sadistic, soft and beautiful slumber.

_No matter what, they would never forget this moment. No matter what they will never forget each other, **they** would never end._

_No matter what._


	23. The Last Cut

Days passed, they came and went, slowly robbing L and Light of the time they needed. Hushed sobs emitted from behind the tightly shut doors. Almost every night Light would wake up in deteriorating states, first night was nothing but panting, second was whimpering, third was screams, fourth was screaming and attempting to cut his throat.

"Light. What are you doing?"

"L, you stay away! I don't want you to see this! Please!" tears flew hotly from Light's blurred eyes.

"...Light." was all that the overwhelmed detective could say, he was tired, not physically, but emotionally, mentally, this was his last night, he did not want it to end like this.

A small whimper resided in the corner of the dark, little bathroom. A fleeting sound tripped into L's empty ears. A familiar sound, one of liquid, only this liquid sounded desperate and cold. As L advanced towards the frightened Light, the teenager flung himself backwards onto the waiting wall. A small flicker of moon-light flittered through the window, just long enough for L to see scarlet drops upon his feet and the cold floor.

What started out as a soft gasp turned into a loud screech of terror. He was standing in Light's blood! L felt his head go a little fuzzy, but he knew he needed to keep Light from finishing this. A pale, fragile hand placed over his mouth, L staggered forward, grabbing a hold of Light's hand. L heard the clatter of the knife floating to the floor. L held on tight to Light's shivering body, at this point L couldn't tell if Light was shaking from the icy chill of the floor, or the lack of blood that the teen had running through his veins.

"How bad is it...?" mumbled the shaken detective.

"I-I feel a little bit dizzy.."

With that, Light fell on top of L, covering him with the life-colored liquid that spewed from his neck. L was quite frozen to the one spot in the room, fearing for Light, he dragged the nearly unconscious Light into the main room, and gently splayed his figure over the couch. From here L could see the true extent of the damage.

L was shocked and he wondered how someone could make themselves bleed so much. Hurriedly, L left Light's side causing Light to shriek and proceeded to cry. Quickly, L's hands shot out towards the injured neck with a warm, small towel, wiping Light's shame away from his neck.

"Hey, Light, this is **not** how I wanted to spend my last night."

"I-I...," Light let out a squeak of a sigh, "I know, I'm really sorry, but I can't handle this anymore."

"Light, I said no matter what, so what if you are my demise? You also brought me the most happy times I have ever had in my life."

"L...that really does mean alot to me."

"I know, but you mean alot to me." L gave a wide grin.

"L, can I have a kiss? Please?" Light dragged out the 'e' in 'please' to emphasize his own astonishing playfulness.

L grinned an idiot of a grin and knelt his face down by Light's and whispered, "Only if you promise not to do this ever again."

"I promise."

The moon-light now illuminated two hunched figures, eternally connected, forever bonded to one another. Neither one of them ever willing to let 'them' end.


	24. A Trying Morning

A burning sun rose too quickly, painfully quickly. Light let his eyes wander over to the sleeping detective, who, to Light's surprise was smothered in blood. As Light's heart beat fast with sickness welling in his dry, hoarse throat, he felt a sharp, needle like pain spread sleekly across the length of his neck. Before bursting forth with screams and vomit, he remembered how thoroughly he had upset his one and only, by attempting to slice his own life away.

Light wanted to feel nothing, he did not want this pain that he was being dealt. Shaking his faint head, Light reached up to his tender throat. Instant pain greeted the soft touch he had placed on his injured body. He contorted his face, shutting his eyes, clenching his teeth, and breathing harshly. Light could feel the hot substance reach his hand, which now was farther down his throat, away from the cut.

Light let out a stifled cry, as he winced knowing the wound was reopened, painfully. L stirred slightly, sighing softly as he rolled onto his back. Light, through all of his recent pain, felt nothing but soft, warm, comfortable feelings as the detective bathed in the waiflike rays of sun that hit him.

"I don't want this to be. I don't want it to come to pass. Please, this is insane." Light whimpered.

"It is indeed, Light."

Startled so much by the detective's response, Light flung himself off of the bed, landing with an ungodly smash, as he brought a lamp down along with him. Within less than one second, the curious face of L popped over the side of the bed, peering with a child-like smirk and a thumb in his mouth.

"Sorry about that. I thought you had figured out I was awake."

"No, I didn't. I was enjoying you being asleep, you really are something else when you sleep. Your so...your so pure."

"Light, thank you." L spurted thrusting one hand forward to pull the shocked teen back onto the bed, "You look peaceful when you sleep, Light, like the Kira part of you is completely suppressed. That is when..."

L's voice crumbled off into nothing before he finished his statement.

"When what, L?"

"When you aren't screaming and fighting in your sleep."

"Oh."

The thin stream of light that had been cleaning the dirty room with its softness, had not been present for sometime now. The beautiful voices that meshed so wonderfully, had died away with the light.

"Light?"

"Yes, L?"

"Let's get you cleaned up. You look ridiculous."

"Yeah, I probably do, huh? Let's go. But you have to be gentle, okay?"

Light wasn't fully aware of how far he was tossing his arms around when explaining that L needed to be gentle.

"Now you look even more ridiculous!" L let out a small laugh, not a real laugh, but a dead, somber one.

Both looked sadly at one another, knowing what was approaching much too rapidly. Neither said a word while the cleansing of both bodies went on, Light scrubbing L's blood covered torso, as L rubbed off the blood staining Light's frame. L slowly dabbed the cloth in his hand around the massive slit in Light's throat. The cut was much larger and deeper than both had thought. L silently glided over to the medicine cabinet, pulling huge gauze bandages from a box, then gliding back over to Light, soothingly applying them to the wound.

"Let's go somewhere today. Just you and I. I don't want to be leaving without us having a day to think and be rid of everything else." L chimed with a slight smile as he patted on the last bandage.

"That sounds perfect."

The two embraced for what seemed an eternity, but the eternity was not anywhere near long enough for the both of them.


	25. Memories Enduced By Creaking Springs

As Light planted himself firmly on the small, white couch, he recalled the madness that had unfolded on that same couch only a few hours ago. Listlessly, Light flipped his now, somewhat long hair, looking down at the undersized blood stain that was turning brown. He winced reminded of all that had taken place on this couch. Kissing, hugging, hand-holding, and Light's face grew crimson in color as he remembered the touching that had taken place there as well. As L sauntered over to the couch, Light's face lost color, encased in L's pale, frail fingers, was something tiny, it glimmered in the artificial light that the over-head lamp produced.

"What's that?" Light inquired with a curious look.

A quiet jingle resounded as L sat down next to Light on the couch, L shivered slightly as the cold chain reached his warm arms. L grabbed and held onto Light for sometime, Light gladly complied by grabbing at whatever shirt he could pull from L. Light pushed for a little more from his detective. L shifted slightly on the couch, so he sat taller than his Kira. Light giggled softly pulling L onto his lap and yanking L's head down onto his lips. L smirked letting out a giggle as he sunk into the kiss.

The two sat heaped entangled in each others desire. Light and L both sank deeper and deeper into the kiss, making it more passion crammed. Faces now lit up with familiar heat, as soft sounds of obsession filled the empty air.

Without any warning L jerked away from Light, who was now a bit dazed.

"Wha...?"

"It's nothing, Light, let's get dressed and head out shall we?"

"...Y-Yeah.."

_'Light! What are...?! Why would you...do this?!' L was trying to remain calm for Light's flimsy state, trying not to make him anymore distraught then he already was._

_'..E-E-L...I'm sorry.' rolling his arm over, Light's voice was choppy._

_'You don't need to be...Please, you just cannot scare me like this, not today...'_

_'I...I didn't mean to, that was not the point of doing this...'_

_'I know what the point of this was...' L's tone was a bit harsher and more condemning then when he had last spoken, 'I disagree completely with the reasoning, Light.'_

_'But! You can't! You don't know what it's like or how it feels! It's my fault!' Light was no longer aware of the life that drained so slickly from his panicked body._

_'I know I can never understand those feelings...' L tenderly caressed Light's sweat coated hair. _

_L promptly got up from his spot next to a shocked teen. With his return Light sighed out all of his pent up contempt with the abrupt abandonment he had gotten from L. The silent patting of the warmed cloth on Light's neck was putrid, L was, to be quite honest, was disgusted with Light's decision. _

_The silence continued until Light let out a ruthless hiss of pain. L shook his head, as if trying to shake some rogue thought out of his weary skull. L peacefully looked at the blood ridden Light, who stared back with malice lining his gaze. _

_'Why are you so hateful...? It's so sudden...'_

_'It hurts.' Light stated tersely._

_L looked down at his hands, which were pressed down on Light's neck, only centimeters from the divided pieces of skin, forcing knuckles to turn white. A shrill yelp of horror quietly left his lips. Looking closely at the scene, L thought of how close it looked to a murderer strangling the last bit of life from his victim. _

_Velvety hands met a silky face, as L limply willed his hands up to stop the disdain in Light's eyes from piercing him. Light's lips parted timidly, letting a whisper seep from them._

_'L, I really am sorry...I had no intentions of making you so upset.' With this said, Light turned his head away from L's innocent, gaping face. _

_'Yes. I am very well aware of that, Light.'_

_'Good, as long as you know.' Light was squirming, trying to pry himself from L's loving gaze._

_Light felt terrible, he did not want L to be this worked up before...Light choked, as his mind raced towards the dreaded word. Before he knew it, Light was being carried, awkwardly towards the bed. He looked up at L, trying to understand what was going on. L set the emotionally disturbed Light down on the bed, assuming his usual position next to Light's side. _

_L bent over, careful not to hit anything that might entertain pain in Light, L kissed Light with amazing fervor. Light grasped at L's back, pushing his own lips with all the intensity he could possibly muster. Pulling away once more, L applied a large bandage to the neck, L wrenched another equally giant bandage from his pocket._

_'Before we get to do anything of this sort, Light, we need to stop the bleeding. I don't want you passing out in the middle of our last run together.' L smirked wildly as Light's mouth curved into an entertained smile. _


	26. A Wistful Afternoon

"Light!"

"What?!" Light snapped, more irritated then angry, at L's bad timing.

Light had his nightshirt halfway off of his head, revealing only his pink lips as he swung round to the detective. L's voice resembled a child as they beg for something that they can't have. Light tugged at the shirt until gasping, for air as his new turtleneck draped across his body. The chains rattled unmercifully as L took off his own wet shirt, wet from the scrubbing Light had dealt him. The silence in the bedroom grew longer and more painful.

"Light? Can we go to the zoo?" L chirped happily, holding onto Light's arm giving a sickeningly sweet smile.

Light looked down at the cheery L, who wanted nothing more than to indulge himself in childish pleasures.

"Yes."

"Yay!" L squawked shutting his eyes.

"But," Light dragged out the 'u' while wagging his finger in L's surprised face, "I get to choose the place we go after that, okay?"

"That's fine."

L purred out his answer, no longer attached to Light, but sitting loosely on the bed. L hung his hand freely, still clenching the shimmering object. L swung the chain dreamily, head in his hand, gazing lazily at nothing in particular.

"L...? Why are you being so blank right now...?"

"What do you mean, Light?"

"Nothing."

With that said, L hopped to his feet and shoved his shut fist into Light's face, he opened his hand. Light flinched, but opened his eyes to be greeted by a small silver key. L hastily unshackled the two, both men felt oddly disconnected at the drifting sensation of air running across their bruised wrists.

"I don't want our last day together to be chained like this."

"L, thank you, God, I love you so much..." Light turned his clammy face towards the door, trying as hard as he could to choke back his tears.

The couple, stuck in painful expressions, left the building that watched and mocked them with cold glass eyes. Scrutiny had no end, as the two young men walked at even pace, clasping one another's hand. L knew that Light was very nervous about going into a public place like the subway station, holding another mans hand, let alone his hand, L's hand, L who looked out of place in his hunched way.

Cooling air poured into the train car, as the doors retracted, letting the autumn air bite anyone who touched it. To get to the zoo, it had taken two hours, with various track switches every hour or so. Doors slid open and shut repetitively, blandly. When few people were left on the train car, since most were either at work or school, Light and L carefully slipped closer to one another. L rested his head on Light's shoulder, then both of them sank into much needed sleep.

L and Light were rudely jostled from sweet slumber by a poking finger, one on each man's shoulder. Unwillingly Light gave a groan, holding tight to L, and looked up at the assailant finger. Much to his surprise, and L's as well, the illuminated figure standing in front of them, was none other than the downbeat Misa. The trio, once reunited, chatted briefly before Misa was at her stop, Light instinctively pulled Misa into a hug, still feeling the sting from the bomb he had dropped on her some time ago.

The damp smell of candy, ice cream and straw filled L's bewildered nose for the first time in his life, Light, however, had been to the zoo a few times in his life time, but L being the introvert he was, had not wanted or desired to leave Watari's care.

Only an hour and a half at the zoo was poured ever so grittily into their day together. Light was getting frustrated by the fact that he couldn't give L any kisses, due to the prying eyes of parents, as they silently murdered the pair of young men, with, scathing looks. Only twice had he been able to lay soft kisses on L's delightful lips, Light had now decided, he disliked the zoo with all his might. Light had made his mind up within the first twenty minutes of staying there, but he refrained from showing any of his new found disdain with L, as it would ruin L's only experience at the zoo.

Naturally, L found his way into an alluring sweet shop that was stuck near the exit. Chocolate, gummy, lolli, and sugar heavens cascaded into L's sparkling eyes, Light observed the raid upon any edible sugar source. Light giggled quite loudly walking over to the register, pushing a few ten thousand yen bills into the cashiers hand. L tilted his head and watched Light never removing his thumb from its normal position.

Light now realized that, L, the worlds greatest detective, was truly a kid in a candy store.

Light patiently followed L, who had now, glommed onto Light's hand not letting go. L shoved a multi colored bit of fluff at Light's thinking eyes. Light pulled his head back a little, L pulled Light's hand harder. Frowning, L thrust the piece of sugar closer to Light's face, shaking it around a bit for emphasis. Light let out a long undying groan of displeasure, and rolling his eyes as dramatically as he could, licked the sugar out of existence. L smiled, he was unduly pleased with himself.

The turnstile clicked a few times, and L and Light embarked to a new destination, Light's pick for the day.


	27. A Strange Attack

Light smirked happily knowing that when they were walking back, he could hold L tightly to his chest without parents glaring, threatening to get them kicked out. For no reason at all, Light began to sprint, L, surprised, was dragged along by the vigorous grasp that his hand was entwined in. Snapping his brain out of its dormant state, L swung his feet back underneath him, letting them hit the pavement with loud tramping noises. Light rounded a corner with such speed that L felt he was going to be tossed into outer space.

Light was giggling insanely as the two men ran together, down countless empty streets; L felt his own face tingle, his throat beginning to wiggle with laughter. Light saw a small shop up in front of them, skidding to a halt, Light sent L plummeting to the ground. Light instinctively jumped over to catch L just before his face connected with the floor. Both were breathless, staring at one another with wide eyes, their lips twitched at the corners. Peeling open the rest of their lips, the laughter preoccupied them once more, their mouths so dry as if they were filled with chalk.

"L-L-Light! What was that all about?!" L tried to shrieked through the swarms of laughter invading his voice.

"I wanted to get here faster!" L could tell that Light could no longer breath because of how choked his words were, and by the fact that the teens ribs had ceased moving and tears swam in his eyes as his mouth heaved out dry chuckles.

"Huuuuu..."L let his breath out, regaining his calm voice, "To where Light?"

Light struggled, unable to breath, until L held his head so close to Light's that Light gave a sudden intake of breath.

"Over there, L." Light raised a think finger, not his own, but L's, he was holding the back of L's hand making the finger point to a little shop just down the road.

"What is that?"

"It's an ice cream shop!" Light squeaked in delight, giving a happy smile.

" ...Really?" L was interested now, holding his thumb to his mouth while helping Light to his feet.

"L, I thought you might want to share a sundae with me. I haven't had any ice cream for awhile, so, it sounded good."

"Light...Is this the place you picked for us to spend the rest of the day?" L asked innocently.

"No."

L glanced down, now a little more confused by Light than usual.

The odd looking couple walked in to the shop smiling and giggling, unaware of the stares they were receiving from anyone who could see them in the crowded shop. A small woman waltzed over to the two men sitting at the table. Light looking up at her was a bit surprised to see an American girl hovering over him. She jeered at the condition of L's pale white shirt, which had an interesting blue stain on its shoulder from the candy floss he had earlier.

She shrugged listlessly and asked them what they wanted to devour. L turned to her and said something to the woman in a language foreign to Light's ears, he did notice the use of 'please' one of the few words in English that he knew. Light also caught a slight rising in L's pitch at the end of his second sentence, Light knew L had asked the young woman something, she nodded her head happily and said, what sounded to Light like, "No Problem!"

A few moments later, she walked out with a large bowl crammed with ice cream, topped neatly with a cherry. She waved her hand, signaling the two to follow her, as her golden hair bounced in and out of the way of her blues eyes. She made her way back into a smaller room, setting the tray down as Light and L sat. L spread a question over the woman; she giggled and pulled a second spoon out of her aprons pocket. She smiled at the two, and turned to leave.

The second the door hit the latch, Light's head snapped from the door, to L, who was waiting patiently for Light to speak.

"What were you saying to her?"

"Oh! Right, I'm sorry, I forget that you don't speak English at times..."

"Yes. But what were you asking her?"

"Well...I told her that my fiancé and I wouldn't be seeing each other for sometime..."

"Fiancé? L..."

"Hmmm," L hummed happily, "I just said it, I wasn't really thinking."

"For a day let's not think."

"Yes. So I told her that we wanted some privacy if possible, and then a asked her for another spoon!" L stuck the second spoon out at Light who smiled and took it hungrily.

Spoons dove deep into the soft, chilled, ice cream as satisfied grunts of approval reached L and Light's joyous faces. The cherry was the last thing to be ravaged by the boys, Light grabbed at it, L landed a sharp poke on Light's temple, making him drop the mentioned cherry. Light rubbed his head a little, frowning slightly at L. L moved quickly over to the other side of the table, sitting gracefully on Light's warm lap.

"Here," L gestured the cherry towards Light, "I wanted to give it to you, but you took it to fast..." L dawned a childish pout, sticking his bottom lip out, looking at Light with the biggest eyes he could make.

"L, you know that hurt, right?"

L squirmed uncomfortably, shifting his weight slightly, making Light stiffen a bit. Light wrapped affectionate arms around L.

"It's okay though, your making up for it."

"Here, open your mouth."

Light did as he was told, opening his mouth and shutting his eyes just a little. He took the cherry from L's waiting hand, pulling the stem out of his own mouth. L grinned softly at Light, who grinned back, only a bit more sensually then L had. L tilted his head to one side, feigning a frown of confusion on his face.

Light slipped his lips against L's, L encasing Light with long, delicate arms. L was a touch surprised when Light deepened the sudden kiss. L kissed back just as romantically, only to be cut off by Light, who had proceeded to smoothly slip his tongue into L's mouth. L released a small moan. Light gave a somewhat louder moan in reply. Just as L was getting ready to attack Light's slick mouth, L felt the small sweet cherry slip onto his own tongue.

"L-Light!" L gave a giddy giggle.

"I was going to give _you_ the cherry anyway."

L and Light laid on top of one another, remembering the searing pain that was to overtake L in a matter of hours. Light knew what L was thinking about, so he slid the detective off of his lap, and pulled him towards the cash register, where the same blonde waitress stood anticipating their return. Light paid, and he grabbed L's hand once more, leading him off the destination _he _had picked out for their final day.


	28. Hey All Of You! READ MY NOTE!

Hey Everyone!! i have decided to possibly put a lemon in this upcoming chapter...tell me in the reviews! And maybe possible ideas!!

I LOVE YOU ALL FOR EVER EVEN GETTING THIS FAR!! XD XD XD XD

Dear lord L is amazingly hot in the Say My Name doujinshi!!

XD

Alright! Eveyone sounded like they wanted a lemon, so here goes nothing!!


	29. The Tale Of Two Bandages

L's mind began to wander, still clenching Light's hand. Just as L thought of various times they had been together, Light thought just as hard. Remembering the events that unfolded last night. Light's breath began to hitch, thinking about the wondrous occurrence that had unfolded.

_'L? Hurry up, okay?' panted Light, with two oversized bandages wrapping his neck, he was weary with excitement._

_'I will...' came the drifting, sensual voice that slipped into Light's ears. Light gave a shiver at how erotic this voice had sounded. _

_An L clad in nothing but a towel that hung loosely at his hips, smoothly glided over to Light, making sure he wiggled enough to show the skin just barely above the equally black hair that laid beneath his towel. Light was shuddering at the ghostly sight that was now caressing his chest, slowly working the buttons that stopped pale hands from connecting with the hot flesh. _

_Light was amazed at how well the odd detective could touch him, Light was shivering with pleasure. L briskly slipped his hand into Light's jeans. _

_'Aaah L...' Light clenched his teeth, a sad attempt to keep the noise down._

_'Yes, Light?' smirked L drawing circles near a place that Light thought was much too sensitive._

_'D-Doonnn...Ahh.' _

_'Why not Light? You seem to be enjoying this...'_

_'P-Please...!' _

_'As you say Light.'_

_L's deft fingers left Light almost completely exposed to the chilled air. Light pushed L onto the bed, crawling slowly up to meet the sleek, pale stomach, kissing and licking at it hungrily. _

_'L-Light! T-That's nic...nice.' L's spine was arched to the elusive tongue that traced his stomach slowly. _

_Light pulled the towel from around L's graceful, tantalizing, hips. L looked sexily down at Light who only looked at L's face for a split second. L's face was now heavily strung with hot breathing and reddish streaks. Light made small kisses trail closer and closer to his target._

_L let out long, airy moan as Light took him into his warm mouth. L tipped his head back, squeezing the bed mercilessly. Light gave L a few licks, soaking in L's moans as they grew louder and shorter. _

_'L-Light...!! Oooohh...M-More!!' L shouted, throwing his head back as far as he could, he inadvertently tossed his hips up into Light's face. _

_'L! Stay still!' snapped a very irritated Light. He looked up at L who was quaking from the pleasure that surged through his tiny frame. Trembling, L pulled his entire body back onto the bed, Light had no idea when L had slunk halfway off the mattress. _

_'Light,' L had only recaptured part of his voice, fighting the gratification that he desired so fervently, 'Come here...' _

_L curled himself up, motioning Light seductively with an elongated finger. L's eyes flickered with lust, edged off by the eagerness that lingered below. Light climbed onto the bed as it moaned in time, as L knocked Light off balance. _

_L swiftly brushed his hands down to a very tight clothed area. L sensitively grabbed onto the one thing that could make Light lose his mind. Light grabbed furtively and scratched L's back as he spilled quickening moans, panting in between each breathless sigh. _

_L pressed softly against the tip of Light's hardened passion. Light no longer cared about what might hurt L, he tugged rather hard on the charcoal hair that was centimeters above his, locking the two of them in a frantic and crazed kiss. Light was panting like mad into the kiss before L separated from him, causing an aggravated grunt to pass Light's hot lips. Light was elated by L leaving the kiss, after he knew where L was headed._

_L's own sugary tongue was admirably more skilled than Light's tripping tongue. Light figured that this was because of the almost erotic way that L ate his sweets. Feathery hair tickled his lower abdomen; Light was struggling to not thrust himself in L's face. Ecstasy tore through Light's lower body, every muscle in his body, tightening; Light knew what was going to happen very soon. _

_"L! L!! I-...I-I,' Light could barely speak through the thick coating of delight that was engorging Light's now sweat slick body, 'I-I...aaaahhh..cuh-comi-...!!'_

_Light's heart beat so rapidly he could only feel a mild drifting sensation in his throat. _

_'Light..? Do...you want to...see this to the finish...?'_

_'Y-Yes...Please!!,' Light was begging at this point, he leaned close to L's ear and whispered quietly, 'L I want to feel you...'_

_L shuddered as the air hit his ear, he pulled a small bottle out of the nightstand beside him. Light wanted this badly, to the extent of crying, he felt himself nearly release when L touched his legs, pulling them into the most comfortable position for the both of them. L tenderly pushed at Light. To his surprise, Light involuntarily pulled his hips upward, thrusting into cool air. L gently dragged Light back down onto his own passionately aching need. _

_L squeezed himself into the tiny sweet-spot, as Light arched his back to into an unachievable position. L, without warning, rammed nearly half of himself into the unaware Light. Light screamed out in pain, L stopped forcing himself in, and let Light adjust once more. As Light's pained expression faded into nothing, L resumed his pace, inching in, making Light squint with each thrust. _

_When L was completely engulfed by Light's body, he tugged out just barely, and then ground himself back into Light. Light was moaning with every subtle movement his detective made. L in turn was moaning with every motion. _

_'Ahhh...L...try g-going a-aaaAAAAHHH..litle faster...' he could barely speak as the tempo increased._

_'O-OOOHHHK-Kay Light...' L began shoving and pulling himself at an astonishing rate for someone who had only done this less than a dozen times. _

_Light was moving in time with L's hips, coming back down from the thrust grinding himself relentlessly into L's heaving motions. The pristine silence of the room was shattered by the numerous moans of bliss that were scraped from the men's throats. _

_L could feel himself approaching his limit, he wanted this time to be the most memorable. L slammed into Light full force, thrusting faster, hotter, harder screaming Light's name. Light felt the one spot that made him go limp being hit over and over again, ramming himself as hard as he could onto L's heated lap, moaning L's name shamelessly as his lower body tightened into and ungodly knot. _

_'L!!'_

_'Liiiight!! Aaaaahhhhh!!'_

_L and Light let the hot fluid escape from their excited loin. L collapsed onto Light, panting his name endlessly into the night. Light encased L in his arms, repeating L's name into the still night, falling asleep, as the unseen blanket of contentedness eagerly cloaked the young men. _


	30. Yet Another Short NOTE From Me

Sooooooooooooooo

...

Was my first, (well kinda second cause of that one chapter) lemon okay??

I am not so sure i want to finish this story...tell me if i should... its depressing...


	31. Lost In Searing Agues

Light and L ran as fast as they could laughing, smiling and tripping all the while. As the pink, panting couple slowed gently to a stop at the train station, any eyes in the building whipped around towards them. L put a thin finger to his mouth, looking down, loosing all emotion he had felt in the brisk run, Light felt L's warm hand try and slip away from his in a heap of embarrassment. Light looked sharply at L, who glanced back like an innocent child, stripping his palm from Light's with a final yank. The odd looking couple, a well-dressed, prim and proper young man, wanting nothing more than to hold his jet-black, hunched, simply dressed, slouch of a man, made their way to the crowded ticket booths, which now buzzed with crackling chatter from old woman, cupping their hands as they looked at one another, then back to the boys, and from teenaged to mid twenties, most people stared at the tranquil pair.

A soft, beautiful atmosphere swiftly sunk into a dank, languid sulk. Light could faintly hear soft giggling from a cluster of young girls standing to the right side of the train car, Light glanced through half closed eyes, wondering if the one place he had wanted to take L was the appropriate place for someone's last day. L's midnight hair felt soft on Light's almost clammy neck. L snuggled down deeper into Light's torso, grabbing Light's hand and proceeding to fall asleep. Light turned a lust-less odd hue, half of his face wanting to turn red with the sudden brush of L's hair, and the other half, wanting to turn pure white, as he looked around at the countless angered faces surrounding them. The gaggle of young women moved in on Light and L, talking all at once, almost like they were attempting to distract the glaring protesters by acting intoxicatingly sweet.

"H-Hey, you gu-, uh hum..girls," he corrected with an interested look as the females approached, inching closer and closer to the two men's faces, "You need to be quiet, he doesn't sleep very often, I don't want to disturb him."

The crowd scooted a few paces backwards muttering to one another, in, of course, English, the one language that continued to deceive Light's ears. A small brunette with some of the largest eyes Light had ever seen, though not nearly as enchanting as L's, squeaked quietly, "Kawaii desu ne!"

Light only now had noticed that everyone who had been glowering at the couple was gone from the train car, few people remained. L shifted in his dull sleep, waking rapidly to hear a vapid voice chime out, "Iie, sore ga," a tiny, slightly shriveled old woman said, pointing at the two, her eyes were filled with the intense passion of some long lost love, "sore ga, kirei desu." With her part being said, the older woman got off at the train stop, along with a flood of giggling estrogen. Light thought wordlessly to himself, 'That woman was right, what we have isn't just cute...It is beautiful.'

The sun shone depressingly through the train that the two had now transferred from at least three times, L had lost his count. A quiet, airy and mechanical bell chimed from within the trains stifling compartment, an exquisite sounding voice resounded through the entire train, signaling to Light this was the stop, their last destination.

Light tugged on the collapsed L, forcing him to his feet so he was standing squarley in front of the automated doors, just in time for the hiss of hinges being moved let forth an enormous blast of air. L picked out a faint, yet distinct smell, one that had eluded him in his past, one from England.

"Light..."

"Yes, L?"

"Are we going to the beach?"

Light said nothing but gave L a smile that was burdened with guilt, anguish, fear, and grief. L softened his eyes, looking up at Light, with no sense of being human about him. Light felt like at this point L was something foreign, something close enough to divinity, Light yearned to know how L could know exactly when and how he was to die, Light needed to know!

"I love the beach, Light."

"I-I'm glad I brought you then."

"Indeed."

"Do you want to go down to the beach and pick somewhere to sit..?"

"Yes."

Hot sun and the seas salty sweat flooded L and Light's heads full of reminiscent thoughts. Sultry sand flowed freely around L's now shoeless feet. Light only gave L a look to tell him how pathetic he was before stripping his own shoes and socks off joining his unearthly beauty. Being the masterful detective L was, he heard of and located a sweets shop in almost under ten minutes, to Light's surprise, the shop was none but deserted. An elderly couple reached the counter and greeted the two with zeal. Light found their welcome curious, the people who seemed to give them the most looks were the older people, because of the generation they were raised in.

Small squeals tore through the tiny hall of the shop, ripping Light away from his thoughts, clutching at L's hip with one arm. Light looked down only to be met by the novel and outlandish position of L. Light knew that L held mostly nothing but great disdain for children, Light himself got annoyed quite easily by the wide-eyed, fresh-faced creatures. This time L, nonetheless, was knelt down in his usual sitting squat smiling and talking with a small girl and boy, presumably brother and sister seeing as they shared the same glossy, black hair. The children motioned for L to come and meet their grandparents, who still stood with the most utterly sincere smiles upon their wrinkled skin.

Light followed a few paces behind, growing ever weary of what the elder people might say. L glanced sharply over at Light, in one small glance, Light could easily pick out the message L had lain inside, 'You get over here NOW! Be polite, they're nice people.'

L ravenously began to ransack the shop as the owners only stared proudly at something Light could not understand. L, candy filling any pocket that had room waddled over to the register, careful not to drop any of his cargo, as if each piece were porcelain. Light yelped with laughter, L looked just like the pregnant woman that they had seen at the station, waddling along, a tad hunched with legs splayed wide open.

Light slunk over to his detective and paid for the treats that were to be immediately consumed by a hungry, black-hole of a belly. L twirled gracefully towards the exit, Light in nearly hot pursuit, heading out into the sun, into warmth. A fragile yet sturdy hand grasped Light's shoulder before he was allowed to catch up to his candy consumer, Light reeled around at the sudden contact, there, the couple stood together, looking at Light with honesty pouring from their being. A raspy voice with undertones of silk spoke into the air, "You don't see that very often.."

"What because we're two men?" Light accused loathingly.

"No. A love so strong. Do not hurt him, whatever you do. You will never free yourself from the guilt. Please do not break something so divine."

"I...can't promise." Light spun sharply as tears played gracefully upon the rim of his eye.

L sat hunched, munching on some peculiar sweet he had bought, next to a few large rocks, the sun beat down nastily on L's pale countenance. He motioned to Light with a silly grin, moving his arm around hastily to attract Light's undying attention.

Light moving closer and closer to L, noticed something about L for the first time in his life, L's forever piercing eyes. The eyes that had appeared black so many times previous, now showed their true color, but only under the intense scrutiny of the burning sun. Light was persuaded by the eyes to look deeper. Small flickers of unfathomably vivid ash-gray battled with the sunlit luminosity of the chocolate colored sparks that remained still. L's eyes, though exceptionally dark, were undeniably not black in hue, these eyes were the eyes of beauty, one color fighting with another as the sun changed its position. Unbeknownst to him, Light's mouth lay gently unclenched, forcing his face into a softened, whimsical stare.

"Light...?" L angled his head in time with the rising in pitch that he used for questions.

"O-Oh!" Light shook his head vigorously replacing the child-like face with a much more solemn one, "S-Sorry, I just never knew you had such astonishing eyes, L. I never thought they were anything more than emotionless, black holes in your head."

"Hmmm...Silly Light-kun, no one can have holes for eyes! Let alone black ones!"

"Silly L-kun, they might as well be holes since you do nothing but look at a computer all day."

"That's not true," L crooned as he plunged his feet into the sun laced sand, "I am here, aren't I...?"

Light sniggered, coaxing L's waiting arm into his own crossed arm, linked, the two walked up and down the beach. Light gazed at the ocean, his face fading hazily into a rested state. He gaped longingly at L, now because he had noticed his hair that uncombed mass of feather-like wisps that elegantly graced L's head. It was indeed a stormy midnight sky, with glints of sun acting as the stars. He had never noticed how thick the lustrous hair was, though, having grabbed handfuls of it at times. As a faint snide-filled rush of wind came, L's resplendent midnight feathers blew in large, vivacious, snaps across his contented features. L flicked his midnight encased visage back, only to have it flutter silkily in a barely meeker breeze. Light's unaware mind let his fingers broaden their touch on the luxuriously silken hair. Undoubtedly, L voicelessly leaned up, surprising Light, who was now attentively aware of the obvious gawks that the two's fragile kiss had wrought them, Light unashamedly promoted the lips against his.

The day slowly and agonizingly wore itself out, needing to shut hot eyes letting a hooded glow fill a perfect scene. The rouge that overtook the blazing sky sent the couple, who now resided on a large, warm rock, into a cuddled position as the temperature began to mutely shift downward. Blues, pinks and foamy greens clashed restfully in their pastel flavored furies. The pale colors' mêlée dimly seceded into a docile, not yet even, blush.

A tinge of cool air grazed the almost shivering L and the, now entirely numb Light, as their beloved eyes joined with a fiery sorrow. Light, even now, coddled L with devoted passion, delicately caressing the petite body L presented him with. L nudged his way deeper into Light's fully relaxed form.

"Hhnnnnn," the air snaked its way into the relaxed Light, causing flinching pain from the sudden fracture in the placid silence, "We need to be getting back to the headquarters, it's getting late..."

"Y-Yeah it is I guess..."

"Light," L's voice wafted with a silken hum as it burrowed into the ever darkening mood, "Light, I would like you to be my fiancé, even if it is pretend, I don't care anymore, just for tonight."

A tepid face guided it's way up to Light's neck, spilling hushed sobs and searing tears onto the soft skin laying just beneath. Light seized L, pulling him up into a sitting position, then crushing their tortured souls together with undying force. Light felt the tinge of pain and blood run down his neck. Light stole a large breath, releasing it only with a sob that ran scorching, boiling, jagged, blades down the inside of his ribs as flesh on his back was sheared away in sloppy sheets whilst his appendages, ligament by ligament were torn into bloodied scraps of nothing. This was the only way Light could even begin to stroke the surface of his torment.

Light ceased his screaming sobs, and, all the while whimpering, held L's tear-cloaked face up to level with his, delirious fingers brushed across the vividly woeful detective.

"...E-L...I won't pretend, I want to be...for more than tonight, for always..."

"T-Tha-Thank Y-Y-Y-You..." L could barely control his throat, as the wrenching twists in his stomach that were created by heaving sobs, slyly overtaking it.

The train was dull and lonesome; it was, indefinitely bizarre that hardly any living beings, except themselves, frequented the train during the rushing hour when everyone wanted to be home. Light nimbly forced a sleeping L onto his lap, Light thought that L should never spend his last few sleeping moments on a dirty train's cushion. L speedily adjusted to the position, finding the crook of Light's neck, leaning back, L fit perfectly with Light. A surprised sigh danced through Light's lips as L straightened out his long, frail body.

"L...Why are you sitting like that...?"

"Because, you always said you wanted to see what I look like when I sat normally..."

Light hadn't the energy about him to inquire about the timing; he simply shut his eyes and hooked his chin around L's warm neck and wrapping his arms around L's stomach. Both fell into some much needed sleep before Light blankly dragged himself out of the needed rest. The soft pressure on his lap made Light relax even further, L let himself lean back, the warm back now pressing tenderly against Light's chest.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

They fell back asleep in the same position, yet on another train until reaching the vast building sprawling in front of them.

"Tempus Fugit." L breathlessly chuckled.

Light gave a questioning look over at the detective, now blurred by heavy rain in front of auburn eyes.

"Time Flies, Light."


	32. NOTEI write too many notes

Sorry everyone! I am having a little bit of an 'issue' so I might not update for a little bit...

I AM working on the next chapter though...the next chapter will be a little short though, but i am trying to put as much emotion in to it as possible...

crys I don wanna finish this chapter!!


	33. A Concurrent Pain

* * *

There was no noise, there were no people, there was nothing, this was beyond emptiness, beyond nothingness. All that was, except for the unexplainable feeling of blankness, was the resonant sound of the clear orbs hitting ground, thousands per step. Humming from the orbs turned into a queerly reverberating, ring. Slowly, slinking along the darkly lit pavement, the ring, became disturbed, growing farther and farther away in its beating, until it reached a familiar pace. Rolling in and out the octave so pure in pitch, became akin with solemn, dampening tolls from spine-chilling bells. Bells shrieked repulsively and unendingly into the blankness, shredding peace that cradled the city street that was no longer reality. Vacant, bare, clear, was what filled the void, leaving nothing, in the dank darkness. A faint, waning silver thread glimmering, smirked out gloomily, easing its way into a hazy focus. The emptiness swirled mixed images, focusing on one, solemn silver one.

Their chain.

Amongst the nothingness, all was focused to the single link, one link tangled. A silver heap, bundled neatly into the emptiness, into the nothingness. Though there was no feeling, uncontrollable hopelessness reigned. Streaks of helplessness ran through the blankness, giving a clear hue to the dull, silence. The skies lit up in what was the breaking of worlds, the closing of distances, the impossibly hot fire within the unfeeling, pure frozen waters of thought. Desire flooded the blankness, it sat in a hut, the hut was clear, but visible all at the same time, as the rain began to pervade then fade away once more. Contained in the bowels of the hut was the small chain, one final kink, bestowed upon it's majesty. The glorious darkness was swept away, as light floated freely in soft sunlight, as euphoria bathed every known object. The blissful state took on the dazzling effect of a stained glass window.

Light hit the ground, all he could feel was the rain pounding his face, and a soft touch before it went black. L was hovering mercilessly in the rain that had pounded Light to the ground. Light's soggy, auburn hair, slumped lazily as Light's head was pulled up from the solid, pitiless concrete beneath him. L did not scream like he normally would have, as Light's forehead gushed precious blood that dissipated as soon as leaving the torn skin. It was pointless, nothing really mattered, as much as he loved Light, which was an impossible amount to calculate, which infuriated L, he wanted Light to feel pain. L thought Light had almost earned this. He grinned insanely down at the mans closed eyes, the pained expression through the rain, how much he wished Kira was awake to endure this agony. L snapped his head sharply, looking down at Light once more, only seeing the innocence inside of him, the part he loved with everything. The scream welled into the back of L's neck, one not of fear, one of happiness, not for Light's unconscious pain, but of his shut eyes. He wanted Light to leave his eyes closed, because he knew his own eyes would be shut soon.

Light weakly let his eyes flutter, peering into a red, blurred vision of his condemned love, before shutting his eyes once again. The vast city block, which felt as if it were as large as the entire world, was as small as alone. Not one human soul was left to torment them, no one, Light felt intoxicated as he slipped deeper and deeper into a twisted, dream, only hearing the heartless crooning of tenderly harsh bells. Throats groaned out into the open air of a church, Light was nothing, invisible, gone, blank once more. The groaning grew louder, from the tainted necks of monks who spent warped time in believing something Light knew nothing of. Light looked around, the voices spilling into his ears, his eyes being met by revoltingly pure glass that refracted in multitudes of cold colors. The sun beaming through the colored picture was lax, not warming, but hateful. He had never believed he belonged to a god, it was ridiculous, how was he to rule, if he was being governed himself? The alter that was crudely lain upon massive, unkempt slabs of marble, shocked him. A sparkling alter claimed the prize of a small, black notebook, recognized easily. Light had always known there was nothing to rule over people, he knew it was all a solemn lie, something to keep humanity in check. If there was nothing to fear, why would anyone obey? Civilization would crumble, as it had been for centuries, it was his duty to instill the balance once more. It was always a lie, something, that people believed in because they were too weak, to afraid, to face the nothingness after their passing, this is what religion was to Light Yagami.

The eerie singing pressed forward, fading in and out of the dull, rolling chants. Light bobbed his head along with the heaving sighs of the church as he made his way delicately to the podium from which stories of mass redemption were spoken. Tales of gods, deities, merciless punishers who brought empires to their knees, it all sounded ridiculous. Light knew in the dark, bemusing, bowels of his own mind, that, this, punishment from something that wasn't present, was an overwhelming lie. He knew, only he, only Light Yagami, could truly be a god, in a world dripping with viciousness and irony. As the singing engulfed him, Light knew, in one instant, he knew, all he wanted was L, for L to be safe, for L to be happy, for L to be, simply for L to be. Light tore his eyes open, to be pelted unceremoniously by the cold liquid, the sheared blood of clouds. Light watched L through blurred eyes, Light's immense surprise arose from L's blatant expression. L was smiling, as Light felt the heat from his own blood trickle down his forehead, L was smiling! Light, in an emotion consuming moment, lost any feelings he had, none remained. The warmth of a delicate love, bathed in longing looks, the flaming, burning desire to punish the unruly, and finally his happiness. Light's sorrows were drenched in bitterness as his happiness slid smoothly, not forgetting to slash his small, huddled ego, out of his chest, tinged with pain. He grabbed frightfully at the feelings, but to no avail, the happiness he had once felt, was gone, washed away in the iridescent, unending rain. Just as his hot tears, fell silent, held down by weighed arms of falling water, it became known.

This...this was the return, the return of the new god.


	34. Strife

A pleasant hand grasped his own, as L helped his young lord up. It was unbelievable, his lack of decency, he wanted nothing more than to see L in pain. Light knew he would revel in L's pain that was approaching, he knew because he now felt nothing, nothingness, all for the face that had gazed, smiling down at his pain. Light felt the dagger-like rubies pour down his aching face, leaving stained patches, from the breached skin. Legs shook violently, attempting to rid themselves of their godly owner, slow steps pervaded the utterly still, chilled and damp landscape, palely illuminated by the few, weary street-lamps. It came as such, nothing but a deafening, haggard, echo; the wet stomps from four feet shook two people to their core. A massive creature, black in pallor, with patches of sparkling, reflective eyes, stared at it's feet, luring the two men in, into the ghost of death that loomed heavenly inside. A nearly silent slipping sound sighed across uneager ears as the world-shaking mouth of the soul consuming beast wriggled open.

"L."

"Yagami Light."

"We part in such sweet sorrow."

"A triumph, won only by loss."

"Yes, but a delicious victory is one such as this."

"O but the regret sets in much later, as a child who leaves, only to become lost."

"Yes. I agree, L."

The cutting words sliced, two's hearts were cut by small blades, shredding dignity and grace. Dampening footsteps became clear and melodic as the rain no longer muffled them. A nauseating melody, causing cringes to flutter through both bodies, as the long corridor reflected the queer sounds throughout every inch of staling air. A mutual pace was achieved by both, the condemned, and the persecutor, as they waltzed down to yet another cold, soulless door. This time, a password was required to rupture the clamped arch. Listlessly, L drifted over to the door, feeling the harsh shade of Light's austere emotions, the code, now punched, allowed the doors to unbolt from heavy hinges.

L bent quite low, carelessly tossing an arm forward, motioning for Light to make his entrance. Light obliged, but stopped, for L to catch up to him. Light's heart grew lucid, basking in it's own lurid and silken sorrow, his mind, however, was being pushed farther and farther into an escalated state of confusion, sheathed in a leaden miasma. His mind ached for L to hang his arms around him forever, never to let go, yet, his mind yearned for L's vile demise to pass, partly for L's sake, and partly for his own reasons. Light could no longer abide with the indignant hurt he felt when he looked at L, the guiltiness he was plagued with, the charge of being responsible for a beloved death, so desired and so detested. Reaching the steps, the two of them sat, dripping the sky's tears onto the polished floors, in total silence. Neither could swallow the throb of pain that welled in the back of tired eyes, when they sat near one another, enticing a gap to form between them, pulling piqued feelings from them. As Light and L sat, the water that pooled amidst their bodies glimmered dully, weighed down by the sullen ambiance that was present.

Betwixt the awkwardness that flourished in their wake, the men both thought the same, desolate thought. The shimmer from the shallow, pocket of water drew the attention of shadowy eyes along with pale, brunette eyes. The two's thoughts mingled, enervated, coming to rest at the same theory, only a brief respite for the disillusioned and disenchanted psyche of the two lovers, it was the pattern of light that provoked this entwined thought. The glisten upon the water's placid surface from the light's grim beaming looked like a link, a bond.

Their chain.

L and Light made their way over to the spacious; monitor filled, front room, where the force awaited the couple's arrival. All was perceived as normal, no one but the quiet pair knew of the upcoming events. L sat lost in thought, as he prepared for his life to end. Light stood far behind his fiancé, shamed that he had wrought this wicked finish of his own accord. The minutes could not pass any more slowly, chiding both of the men endlessly.

It was time. L and Light both heard the gaudy, garish, and vicarious peal of bells, tolling into the lingering darkness. An ear-splitting clamor graced L's ears, as Watari collapsed, into nothing. L stumbled on his own mentality, he thought that Light would only kill _him_, but Light had deceived him, he murdered Watari in the process, the realization stung L.

"W-Watari..?!"

Light looked blankly shocked. He had perversely wanted this, the demise of the person who cared for L, not a lover, but, L's mentor. To see L writhe amidst the rancor he felt and the love oddly mixed with relief, made Light revel in delight, shivers attacking his spine as the dull thump of a death crossed the computer connection. This was it, L knew, this is what Yagami so deeply desired, his time was running much too quickly, away from trying lips.

"Light."

Light leaned in close to L as he let the words swim from his throat, torn between screaming with laughter, and screeching with heart ache.

"L, goodbye. I can't say I love you any longer, but I did."

Light's heated lips moved away from L's pounding ear, wanting to place a tender kiss upon a bare, open neck, but resisting, struggling with the tears that wanted so badly to flow through tormented eyes. As Light withdrew his face, L felt the searing pain strike him through his paper thin heart, he knew not whether pain was induced by the rash words, or by his pending finale.

L choked. He said nothing as he floated, frailly through the slicing air, thinking only of his sanctuary, his grace, his Light.

The pain paraded on, filling every inch of his feigning body, Light lurched forward, by instinct, wrapping one arm around his dying burden.

_'Light Yagami...! I knew it...I wasn't wrong...but...I...'_

Light sat blankly, staring at L's loose body that draped limply in his arms. Only seconds before, Light saw something he had never, and would never see again, L's fear. Light knew that L was not affected by the prospect of dying, so why had he looked so afraid in his dying moment? It marred Light, he knew just why he saw fear, Light focused on how _he_ had been smiling with undeniable glee and bliss as _his_ detective lay, cold, dying, in his arms.

The sound that flowed like liquid through Light's mouth, was jagged, but silky, his voice he had used when speaking of L.

"R-Ryuzaki!! H-Hey, Ryuzaki!!"

The disparagement and depression in the voice deceived none of the few left standing, this was it, this game was over. Light knew instantaneously, it was his time to take control, to be the new god of this world, to rule. He felt internally muddled, as if he would never recover, he had lost the one thing that really mattered in his life, yet he was joyous for such a thing...? Light had no idea how to feel, happy, sullen, enraged, or languid, he didn't know, all he wanted now was clarity, to feel one way only, his desire was never granted, Light was in eternal confusion.

A disgustingly painful, pleasurable place in between.

The final chink in the chain was untangled.


	35. Hither and Yonder Naught

The elusive man slipped from Light's scarring grasp. Drifting, through time, through his own body, Light ambled limply away from his spot in the vast, echoing room, drenched in artificial light. Legs shifted, moving faster, ears grew deaf to pleading calls, arms swung tightly at sides, a face, tainted black from lurking shadows steeped itself unwillingly in crystal fear, pain, hate, sorrow and joy, plumetting from sore eyes, as deft, yet slow, fingers attacked the crystals with vicious ferocity. The dank sludge of his own malice now consumed his entirety, rendering limbs limp, thoughts absent, as his stinging heart splintered horrifyingly painfully, into infinitesimal shards, scattered across the floor, still longing for life, only sinking slowly into the black tar of the smirking shadows.

Numb.

Nothing.

Acid rushed throughout, burning, blistering, the stained muse, felled by pure hands that felt so impure. A door smashed open, vivid images ruminated in Light's thrashing mind.

Care, hate, contentment, unrest, pain, pleasure, lust, unwant, gleamed through an empty expanse of synapses.

Love.

Light felt his legs betray his own godly form, bringing him to his knees, such a position only the filth lining the streets took hold of. Lights face grimaced into contorted positions, not touching the true root of the feelings crushing his frame.

_'I...I want to die! Please!'_

Light's mind was retching disfigured words into his broken thoughts.

_'But why? This was your goal, this is what you wanted. A perfect world, free of crime? Is that not what you told me?'_

Light had not the slightest clue that his breath stopped short of his paling lips, his chest heaving with sobs that were no longer accompanied by tears. Lungs ceased to function, leaving a gagging sensation to caress a heated chest. Light was choking, he didn't want to breath any more, not without the one person he loved, then mercilessly slain with no emotion.

The voice, not his own, but the answering echo, was undyingly familiar. It's tone, it's pitch, it's smooth quality, the voice of dreams was answering.

Things were gently fading into an uneven and tedious slumber, lazily pulling a scattered Light with it.

Completely immersed in nothing but tantalizing harmony of dereliction, grief and sorrow that surrounded, the voice of dreams cried out in sheer delight, enjoying how the jesting was forcing a small, crushed man into a shivering ball. Light knew this voice...

He didn't want to, but he did...

_'Kira...?'_

_'Yes, Light?'_

_'Will you...?'_

_'No.'_

_'Please..!!'_

_'It was your own desire, revel in your self created woe and wretchedness, writhe before me.'_

_'...'_

_'This world was your desire, do not let it fade, do not let it pass through your own debased fingers.'_

_'I can't keep up this charade! Why do I need to live!? This world can rot in it's own odium!'_

_'Fool.'_

A clammy body splayed it's self upon an unforgiving floor as it thrashed in it's sleep. The floors smashed wave after wave of ear-shredding sound against the unprotected walls as feet slammed quickly in search of a fallen friend.

A garbled declaration filled the tense, cold air when the inane, black haired young man burst through countless barriers of feelings. A slight touch provoked a startled Light from the unpleasant nap that plagued his unholy body.

"M-Matsuda..." Light managed to gasp, leaning into the comfortable grasp that enveloped his shoulders.

_'Fool.'_


	36. After you read ch 35 READ THIS OKAY

Okay, so the last chapter is a little confusing...

so to clear the air...in the later chapters, there is NO, i repeat NO MatsudaxLight going on...EVER!!

Got it?!

Yeah, i know how confusing that chapter is...I'll explain.

This is the time in the manga where Light takes off, trying to find the death note. the dark room is the same room where Rem turned into dust.

Only, as you know, Rem wasn't involved in my story...

It was kinda written in a confusing manner because of the overwhelming mix of emotions that are running through Light's mind.

Ho Ho!! I'm glad alot of people like this story...!

XD


	37. The New Window Of The World

Everything was black, no thought, no cares, no feelings. The same blankness that had enveloped Light when he lay in the rain.

"L-Light...?" a timid yet familiar voice broke the emptiness.

"M-Mi...Missss" The air hissed past Light's lips, Light opened his eyes slightly, unable to finish her name.

"Oh Light!!"

"Mph!"

Light couldn't move, Misa had her signature vice grip on his aching neck.

"W-Where...?"

"Hospital!" she chirped with joy.

"Why are you so happy...?"

Light had regained a small portion of his voice, as Misa released him from the 'girlfriend-grip-of-death' as L had put it some time ago. He pushed himself up onto his sore elbows, looking out the small, rectangular, view of the city. Tears from the heavens ran down the window, smearing the brilliant lights of Shinjuku into red-orange masses.

Misa's tinted lips dawned an earth shakingly sweet pout; Light winced at the cuteness dripping from his former 'girlfriend'.

_'If you could call her that...' _Light sarcastically thought.

"I'm not happy that you're here!" The blonde star squeaked, motioning her arms in vivid circles around the small room.

"But, why am I here...?"

The annoyance in the room lifted it's hand to it's forehead.

"You hit your head and knocked yourself out cold...You really weren't responding soooo..."

"What, Misa?" Light chimed with a silken tone to try to calm the woman who seemed to be getting frightened.

"Since the ambulance came to get Ryuzaki, they checked you out..." Misa turned her head, concealing something Light knew was tears.

"Misa..."Light soothed, holding the upset woman to his chest.

_'God, I HATE this...but she's so upset...'_ Light reminded himself.

"Well, you got a concussion," she touched the side of Light's painful face, feeling something, "The doctors found out you had a little internal bleeding..."

"W-What?!" Light inquired.

A warm piece of flesh pulled Light's hand to his head, his own fingers nimbly shot out, feeling a bandage. A feeling of shock swept the shaken young man, speechless his eyes widened.

"Y-Yeah.." Misa stuttered.

No memories were flushing into the aching brain. The rules of the death note seemed to run together in a flurry of other needed thoughts as they left Light's mind.

"L! R-Ryuzaki!!"

"He...Light, he died..."

Light's mind raced slowly, absorbing pain as his face contorted into a tearful grin.

"I-I guess Kira wins.." A tear accompanied the hoarse chuckle.

"Light..."

Without any thinking, Light wrapped himself around the stunned woman. The shrieks of grief reaped the silence of the room completely. His hands pulled at the tight cloth covering Misa's dainty body. Hot pain once more frequented the saddened mans face.

Misa stayed well past the visiting hours, holding the frantic man close to her, wishing he would hold her that way when it wasn't due to despair, as he silently slipped into a restless sleep, twitching every few seconds and yelping out phrases or words.

"I-I'm sorry!!" Light screamed unknowing to what he was uttering.

"It's okay Light."

"Mmm.." was Light's reply, snuggling his face deeper into the black material that covered Misa so scantily.


	38. Mindless Dancing

Pain coursed violently through a peaceful memory, wrenching warming bliss from it's delicate pedestal. Dismal twists and turns were graceful but vacant. The liquid beads of light seeped under the door of the mind's desires, undulating it's way through the effervescently lucid darkness. Toes of dainty crimson and silver gauze drifted droopily over the depths of nothing, twirling and tripping over glassy orbs of shattered memory, reflecting their contents in glowing flashes of warped pictures. Silently, silver and crimson joined in unison, tapping a sinister rhythm into the hollowed husks of broken dreams, resting aside the flat, smoothed; arching beams of dreams come true by deviant means.

Drowsily, the tapping hummed throughout a somber vision, cascading into the bowels of the dry, endless, walls. The blank expression the dancing hues carried echoed into the insolence of the wry, shrieking emptiness. Faces flickered shyly about the walls, puncturing the peace ability of moments past. Drenched in the possibilities of another mercury dancer, laced with shadowing aqua, the crimson clad performer drifted closer and closer to a useable ledge, the very edge of despair.

_'...Ffffff...'_ drifted delicately across unseen ears.

_'A god you desired, a god has transpired. One of night, one of contrite.' _A small giggle made a resounding thud, gripping the nothingness, hurtling the void of feeling into sighing chaos.

Jeering rhymes copied themselves, burying an invisible body deeper and deeper in the blankness that surrounded.

_'Fool, two in such reprise, always meet the others demise..'_

_'A hand be driven, a life shall take, guilt be unforgiven, power is only a tempting bait...'_

_'Sink deeper into blankness, become devoid, fighting lovingly with self-created dankness, remembering naught all that was enjoyed.'_

_'Sick, distraught young fool, prick, thines heart with sorrowful pools...'_

Writhing unendingly, the forever blank emptiness shivered under the voices sweet striking. Cracking and whipping side to side, filling the darkness with fire, lighting up the skies of a land betwixt nothing and blankness.

A jolt of sickness tore through Light's stomach as he grasped his mind, reclaiming the thought he lacked in moments prior.

An unearthly shriek rained down the walls of a small room, one of an apartment.

"L!?"

The warmth from the side of a bed that was empty, was still and cool, Light ran his hands frantically up and down the spot, hoping for some kind of contact, still wanting to believe a touch would come to him in his drowsy state. The tears fell, as silent as the day his beloved's name was written in the foulest notebook on earth.

"Liiiight??"

"M-Misa?! What are you doing in my apartment?!" Screamed Light as he clutched the sheets, pulling them onto his chilly body.

"I came home with you! You didn't seem ready to be alone yet..."

"O-Oh...Thank you I guess..."

"Do you want anything for breakfast, Light-san?"

"San...? Uuummm have you already made anything yet...?"

"No. But I'll get anything you want!!"

"God you're too much of a morning person!"

"Oh well!"

"Uuummm...how about some miso soup then?"

"Yes sir!" with a short salute Misa parted, leaving Light to quickly get dressed.

Some minutes later Light descended from his nightly perch, yawning and stretching as Misa reappeared in the door's wooded frame. She smiled briefly, not a happy smile, but a dull, empty one, as if she had been thinking intensely about something, or as if she had been up all night long.

"It's been..." the back of Light's throat produced a gentle humming sound as he thought, "Four days since I was in the hospital...?"

"Yep!" once again with the tired smile.

Light gestured to the bag resting under her small, waif like arms, nodding his head, making his bangs brush to one side of his face. Misa blinked blankly, not fully registering what he was asking her, then breaking into a real smile as she realized he was asking what was in the bags. She instantly, much to Light's surprise, he had no idea she was so quick, stuck a bag out towards Light's blinking face.

"Eat!"

"O-Oh! Thank you Misa." He hugged the small woman close to his warming body.

Misa broke the hug, tugging at Light's collar.

_'_Oh_ no! I didn't give her the wrong impression did I?!'_ Light thought as his blushing face drifted closer to the model's pale, glowing cheeks.

"Let's sit down!"

_'Thank everything good in this world!!'_

Light took up a chair on the opposite side of the table, trying to distance himself from the tiny woman's plea for attention. She radiated a childish happiness, almost seeming victorious that she had accomplished so simple a task, getting breakfast. The silence enshrouding the room in which the two ex-"lovers" sat, making the quiet demolition of the sustenance even more awkward. Wordlessly, Misa lowered her chopsticks from her mouth, growing more sullen with each inch the utensils dropped.

"Light...?"

"Yes, Misa?"

"Do you care for me at all...?"

"Why...?" I don't understand what you want me to say.."

"As a friend, as a person, as anything more...?"

"As a person...Misa, this is hardly the question to be asking at breakfast!" Light was beginning to snarl a bit, irritated with the sudden intrusion on the silence.

Misa winced at the rising pitch of Light's irritated tone.

"S-Sorry." Light blushed slightly, feeling ridiculous for being so rude.

"It's okay..."

"..."

"Light...?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you keep on giving me hints then...? Are you enjoying toying with me...??"

"Shut up! I am not toying with you! You _know_ I have NO interest!"

"..."

Small tears were forming on the inside rims of delicate eyes, which changed color every few days from the multitude of colored contacts the model possessed. Today they were blue, matching the sadness that emanated so radiantly from her. Misa's head hung limp, soft chocking cries passed her lips, which were becoming swollen from her biting, biting to attempt to keep the sound to a minimum. Before either of the two knew what was going on, Light once more had her in his own embrace, holding her tightly, squeezing her tighter still as he spoke softly into her golden hair.

"I-I'm sorry Misa." Light soothed.

"Light..." Misa was sobbing, nearly gagging anytime she took a trembling breath.

Once more Light was confused and amazed by how quickly the star moved, leaning upwards into a very one sided kiss. Instead of pulling away like he knew he should have, Light's smooth lips let Misa's heavily glossed lips that reeked of bubble-gum linger. Thoughts tumbled around Light's still tired head, trying to figure out what he was doing kissing a woman he could barely stand in the same spot he and L had shared some of their first kisses.

Lips separated, one with an exasperated sigh, and one with a contented sound. The rouge that plastered Misa's cheeks was overcome by a natural blush, turning her entire face a brilliant red, as she raised her hand slowly up to her tingling mouth. Light looked ashamed, turning an impossible red, Light pondered his behavior; the only reasoning he had was that he was trying to replace L's warm lips with pale, cold lips.

"...Light..." Misa poured the name from her mouth as if it was sacred, savoring every last moment of it.

"No," Light was pushing a desperate girl over the edge of insanity at the same time pushing the same girl away from his face, "I'm sorry Misa."


	39. Tempus Fugit

The connection between the small, annoying woman and the talented young killer grew quickly, but, in a twisted false way, rising towards a blackened sun, like a deadened flower reaching for some self-created shred of hope. Light felt no love for his squealing model, only a relentless, nasty feeling of loathing. He wanted her dead, he wanted to see her pretty blonde hair fall flat, her eyes shut forever, forbidden from gazing at his sorrow, he wanted to see her legs go limp, limper than the false hopes she had that her blazing love was returned, but, Light needed her, he knew he did, whether or not he loved her.

Light knew it was only for the temporary release, only to try and replace the earth moving love of his dead burden. His L, his one impure delight. The one thing that sat on an impossible pedestal, always taunting him with the grim truth, he would never reach the top of that pedestal, he could never reach his prize, they could never be together again, but both would remember their peaceful love. Forever connected, together, but forever denied their desire. Four months had passed, each day Light became more and more dead to the world, all that mercilessly dragged him on was the thought of ridding the tainted world of all evils.

Light felt brainless, doing the same monotonous work each day, pretending to be L, but truly being his betrayer, his murderous lover.

Light had to admit, even though he hated Misa, he needed the tension building in his groin from being deprived for months to be relieved, and Misa was beginning to look somewhat attractive in her minimal clothing, as much as Light hated this thinking, wanting to banish it to the most barren, dry, and remote part of his mind. He hated her for tempting him, no, for baiting him, shyly pulling him into her ill thought out plan, her blindingly stupid plot, nonetheless, she wanted him as much as he needed her.

Red lips weren't the same, her touch was dead, fingers hot, instead of pleasantly iced fingers that L had run smoothly on him, Light still had no clue what he was doing or forcing himself into when his flesh connected with hers. It was a nasty time for Light, trying to keep his cries quiet, as he tried to make the tears snaking out of his eyes seem like the sweat that was rolling off of his heaving chest. He hated being connected with her, even if it was out of sheer need, if only to clear his muddled head, even if it was only a flesh connection, he wanted L, no one else. No one. Not one other person could rival the strikingly amazing tingle of the deceased's lips pushing on his own.

The lurid, dampening days grew longer and longer, dragging Light to insanity.

"L." Chimed a voice that was somewhat familiar, even though it was over a broken phone connection.

"Yes?" came the electronic reply over the cellular device that was pressed harshly over an elder ear.

"I believe it is time for you to go home. You've stayed long enough at the head quarters."

"I still have work to do. But you have a point, thank you, I will be leaving now." With the final words, the cold, garbled, voice cut off, leaving a cold quietness on the other end of the phone.

Light slowly withdrew himself from the office chair with a dull sigh, motioning his departure to the silent group of men sitting at computers, endlessly searching for the one thing that sat in front of them everyday.

The night was destitute, leaving any scrap of matter dead to emotion. Light drove to his apartment in complete confusion, the overwhelming claws of depression sunk deeply into his clammy flesh, but at the same time a coil of heated desire wound itself in a twisted stomach, months lacking passion had passed, it was an undeniable hell.

Damn his carnal needs! Light hated this woman with the most sincerity any person could have, so, why in the hell would he want her?! Why didn't matter at the moment, when was all that mattered to his primal pressures that were controlling him. a silky smooth voice filled an empty cavern of an apartment, echoing a faint, 'I'm home.'. A screech of rapture tore through the halls the second the ringing of the previous words ceased.

"Light!! You're finally home!!"

"Yeah, hello Misa."

"Well don't kill yourself with enthusiasm! Gosh, you say you love me, but sometimes I wonder..."

_'You should wonder...'_ Light's mind growled as his brown shoes were pulled away from his feet and placed onto a small mat below a small set of hooks on the wall.

"So how was work today, my wonderful Light?"

"Nothing much happened. A few people died as planned. Not much else happened."

"Well you still must have worked very hard. You just go and sit down and I'll bring you something to drink, Okay?" Misa twittered, grinning immensely as she took Light's coat from his arms, hanging it neatly on one of the delicate hooks.

"I think I'll take a shower first. Then I'll see if I'm still thirsty."

"Okay, Light!!"

The conversation was obviously over, so, Light headed off to the miniature bathroom the two 'lovers' shared. A long tired sigh seeped from Light's aching body, making a small sound against the strengthening patter of droplets onto dry tile. His heart had been wallowing and screaming out in torture unbelievably loudly the past months. A solemn mind wandered to L everyday, always wishing for something different. Light now thought of his murdered love, as his shirt slid like a silk liquid, pooling on the floor at his feet. The cool metal and leather that wrapped it's self around Light's hips removed it's claws from the fitted pants that graced his legs, clattering on the floor. Light's fingers lingered on the button that kept Light from being entirely naked, vulnerable to the harsh world. The longing feeling that pervaded his thoughts most of his devoid four months he had lived since he robbed himself of meaning returned, a longing for someone else to undo the last damned button for him.

Someone to expose his sleek, firm muscles to the misty air. A hushed ruffling sound crashed into his ears as the tears skittered down his bright cheeks, leaving tiny, salty paths on his lean chest. Steps were dipped in heavy lead, as the harsh steam of the near boiling water engulfed one leg, then the rest of a depressed body. The silence hissed and cut deeply as it rushed past the sadness that was filling the room gently. A clenched fist rapped the tiled wall mercilessly as the water pounded against the cold body. Images of sweaty, steamy, heavenly nights flowed freely in the lustful mist that embraced Light's mind. Quickly, the soft pastel scenes faded into softer, more sultry pictures. Ones of romance, two true loves entwined in hands, repeating an eternal song. He let his mind wander gracefully, imagining scenarios that would make porn stars blush.

Light wanted so badly to play the scenes out with his midnight-haired lover, as he slowly dragged his warm hand up and down a very tempting, very obvious arousal he gained from his thinking. How he wanted that hand to be the slightly chilled touch of someone much more loving, someone much more wondrous. The movements increased until being nearly impossible to maintain. Staggering breaths lined the walls of the room as panting moans began to rise through the hot fog. Moans became much quicker, as small cries of ecstasy broke them apart. Light was shamelessly thrusting his hardened desire into his gratifying hand, trying desperately not to make to much sound as he thought of thrusting himself into another wonderful lover, not just a hand. muscles clenched and unclenched in time with the expelled moans, as he neared his own heated release.

"Al..mo...staaAHHHH!!"

He spilled hotly onto his waiting hand, and turned quickly to have it washed off by burning water.

"Damnit!! L, where are you?! I want, no, I need you!!" Light whispered into the hot air as the salt reclaimed his hazel eyes once more in a saddened embrace.

"Light? Are you okay? I thought I heard you scream." Was the timid reply from the other side of the securely locked door.

"I'm fine Misa, why don't you get a warm glass of sake ready for me? I will be out in a minute." Light shouted over the raging water, then returning to a calm, quiet voice as the handles turned, ceasing the flow of the hot droplets.

"Yes Light!"


End file.
